Walk in a bundle of dreams and take a bundle of actions = a bundle of realization

Failures.. not all....

2010-10-07T12:08:00.000-07:00

...................

Bad luck it seems, After coming back to uni life once more, I've succumb to laziness, letting myself too proud without knowing that 2nd year is the real thing.

So I've done quite a mistake which I am suppose to concentrate but I underestimate lightly on the course I am going through..

First, I got the most difficult teacher for histology as well anatomy.. Oh my....

Second, I got a bias teacher whom have affinity toward girls especially hot indian girls..

Third, I have to travel to hospital and aint near to my hostel where I need to travel an hour from uni.. and the best thing is I got exam the next day.. ==!!! Tired of standing in the train for 2 hours go and back....

Fourth, I tend to sleep alot!!!!! How am I suppose to get rid of sleeping too much? Oh man..

Well worst thing is I got 2 friggin pending and for Histology and Biochemistry.. Luckily I survive anatomy exam with 4... Yeah baby at least achieve my target.. Next will be 5 and more 5.. Then I am Anatomy king with the anatomy madman teacher who always say my collegues.. ERRR Sir, I am nowhere near your standard... and best part is he kill all of us.... literally....

Once more winding in front of a book wondering what to read.. fainting on what question I should read for the moment.. I never feel prepared at all... So stressful.. But one thing for sure, better get use to exam fever and third year is hell year.. So best prepare for madness..

Sometimes is best to be an ant rather than a genius... Hardwork prevails with a lil intelect..

The Great Time

2010-08-21T08:07:00.000-07:00

Whew, so where do I start? By the way, I really enjoy so much in Malaysia, good times here because I get back to my family my friends and my eating life.. Its a bliss being back to Malaysia, and now it's going to be 2 months after my hellish 1st year..

So I got new TV, PS3, and a new speakers! New shoes! New Clothes! wow, It's heaven being here..
But soon my heaven going to end soon for as I have a week left for my summer break and back to Russia for my 2nd year.. I make sure I can do well once more and perform better than my 1st year , I dont need resolve for every new year but all I need is hardwork and always hardwork pays, no holistic bullshit to improve, but one thing I know for sure is being smart and more more hardworking, more effort in everything, no shortcuts for myself, all I want is to be a better person in my life, I dont want to hurt anyone anymore, (includes to someone dearly to me, and please forgive me because I hurt you)

Once more, academics and non-academics, excel both and I'll be fine.. yeah!!!

Finally!!!

2010-05-19T10:54:00.000-07:00

After days of learning the brain, truely, I admit, it is the most difficult and tougest part of anatomy due the complexity of the chapter itself.. At times it is frustrating to remember and trying to understand the works and parts of the brain, and yet I've failed 2 times because it is very difficult. But in the end I got full marks for the test and my teacher was very pleased with my answers this time and she says that I finally understand the brain and was looking forward for my next performance in my next test. Hope I can meet up her expectation.. Now it is closing to my finals for Biology, Chemistry, Latin and Physic.. Gotto focus and get as many good results for this upcoming obstacle.. ^^

Feeling lost..

2010-05-10T11:38:00.000-07:00

Well, plenty things need to say now and then but taken much of my time of thinking at times.

So well, I am so lost now, can't really tell what I am doing right now, kinda lost, after coming back to Russia from my hometown. I can't seem to focus at all, many things happen too, of course I notice I keep saying bad things bout my girl in front of her friends.. I really cant separate the borderline between me and her.. But all thing for sure I want her to be the best of herself and not getting sick.

As to me, I geting sloppy day per day, finding cheap ways to get good results, I must change it before it gets any worst of it..

2 weeks and soon final exams..

Tough

2010-02-19T07:06:00.000-08:00

To me, the word tough exist in many ways, I strongly believed it is also one of every obstacle which I need to take and endure it..

1. Studies.. it is tough for me as I going to do the impossible thing in my life, thus reading and understanding the very core of the subject is not a simple task for me. Everything have its meaning and why we are studying it. I never know until I gave a thought, by learning is by going to life to an extend where we can able to think and teach to ignorant people who only listen to what people says and not learn by themselves. Fact by books and facts of experience are simply to say it is related to one another, it is just how we interpret the meaning of study or learning..

2. Relationship.. I seriously wanna skip this but still it is one tough experience for me. Apart from break and making ups.. Well to be honest, I aint good in close relationship.. As for now, I really want to understand her on how she feels and worried of her.. I know it is selfish of me wanting her to go to me instead of her friends.. But til today after getting along with her, I dint complain much when she spend time with them rather with me, it is painful to tell go ahead with them, still have to put a fake smile saying its ok. Really, I want her to be happy but why I have to endure it, she doesnt spend so much time for her ownself and stupidly going to have fun with them, how many times do I have to repeat that she had to study and not last minute, crying and wake up so late just to study the following day.. Keep saying she is smart and so on but being smart without hardwork is just another dork walking down the streets.. As I noticed, I dint spend so much time with her due to her unrelated busyness and I really wonder what is she thinking? Maybe I being stupid on my own concern towards to a person who dint know how I felt for her... I love her and all I want her is not be so dork helping others rather her ownself.

3. Life.. So far it is tough to live a life thinking everyday.. Unlike people who thinks what to cook after class ( sorry to say this but it happens to every uni students.. believe me that you can hear the same sentences coming out from their mouth). Alright correlation to this subject of life, honestly I keep thinking whether I am able to walk out to be a doctor or unable to become one.. Keep thinking can I stand at the pinacle of my own life so that one day I can tell my life to my generation, my own kids and so on.. Will I able to be the right person for the person whom I love.. It is crazy to think such idiocy at such early age of my own, a young adult who is still in the most critical situation whether I manage to control myself and be more discipline on my own. All this while, I've been playing and goofing around too much and never know how important life is to me, all this while I kept in my mind live with fun of life.. and now I've realised I couldnt turn back as I wanted it to be.. Currently, I have to study so hard and learn every possible things no matter in university or outdoors.. And definitely, I must make out from this positively.. Every failures count and every success is time.. Meaning of this very sentence is important for future myself so that it is the ultimate dream for me to be reality.. Here is the thing I need to know, a person who fail to plan is plan to fail from the moment you step out in the world of learning..

2nd Semester..

2010-02-13T10:25:00.000-08:00

After a brief holidays, back once more to Moscow for the next semester..

Few things in my mind actually.. Quite afraid I couldn't pull myself for reaching the top.. I feel very depressed lately.. Got no idea what gotten me into this silly depression.. And again the unessasary smile and not from the real smile.. Come to think of it, I am stuck with exams again, I hope the results doesn't make me depress or weakened.. Really have to make it through the 1st year, once again die trying and study hard to do my exams, the only thing I find out that I can express how I felt only through blogging, though sounds pathetic, but well it give me some space for a piece of my mind, what I do think, how I felt over this years, it may not be long when one day I sit done having a sweet time enjoying my life as a successful doctor, but again obstacles have to be cleared thoroughly..

Life haven't gone so well lately, having a preach about chinese new year related to christian.. Why I would be bothered by it anyways? God is great, bla bla bla.. Yeah yeah everyone knows that, but somebody can wake this people up? I got more important thing to do more a less than going to preach God's greatness.. Why can you put your faith in yourself, I believe God ask us to have faith on our own, believe him so as we can believe our own, a bible is a story, a story correlate with the history and not only tell us we should follow the path, but only use for our daily problems.. Every human have his faith, no matter the bible tell us to do so.. Once again, I am in point blank to listen this same speeches all over again.. I am tired listening about it. No use for me when I have bigger goals to obtain, rather spending time to listen same thing over over over again..

But then, I am able to control myself forcing myself to go over the limits of myself.....
And I couldnt celebrate my chinese new year..
And the sucky thing, next week my exam... Chinese new year with exam on the following day..
Wonder will this go on for the next 6 years?

Entitle.. Hope!

2010-01-11T20:26:00.000-08:00

This days, well it give me desire to understand things happening around lately. Take a turn and make some ideas for some improvement. Today, I got some good questions regarding on my anatomy exams... Though I know I might flunk this exam due I am easily nervous and forget because of it. But then, no matter how cruel things can be, I still have to face it (Its a part to be more mature to think and adapt to stressful abilities without being moody or in bad temper), I thank to people who is around me, if not because of them, I might already lose faith and passion, ( Ted, Ching and Lulu) getting spirit and going to the extreme, pushing myself to limitation of my mentality, I can sleep dayless just by studying and playing at the same time, its a habit and bad one though, but it is uni life, expect the worst and prepare for the worst, life ain't a bed of roses or answer popping out in front of you, people who work hard for it earns it and people who stops will fall, no matter in sense of cheating or doing it by heart as l0ng there's struggle and thirst of knowledge nothing is impossible to attain it, being hardworking is good but have no life, being smart is good but lack of responsiblity( includes laziness), so human must have both, smart and hardworking, I used to tell that myself everyday, thats the reason for me to move on in education, I'll not stop until i believe I can walk with knowledge especially becoming a doctor.

Another thing, I learn as well, I must not be to selfish to share my knowledge to people who wants it.. Though i know I'm sure that i am unable to do well if I keep teaching during exams since I have my own questions to do as well, I am envious when I manage to help my classmates to get good remarks but I couldn't get mine.. Sad isn't it? But I must not give up, I know I can get it as well as long I am able to understand question and do things quickly with great thinking and precision eventhough helping them as well in the same time.. I take them as my training to improve my brain works and I know I will improve myself to be better, as you know be a doctor can be stressful if attain less training and experience in study life? I finally understood path to be a doctor, to save people must save your own and with experience during study life everything is possibble and more probably better than normal general doctors in hospital back in Malaysia.

Another thing, I learn, though I may be scary at times, as long I don't cause trouble, everything will be fine.. I wanna have a good life without picking trouble.. And some people misunderstand one thing, I learn martial arts is only few things, first of all, I can use for mind relaxation, learning to cultivate attitude, self protection and my family, and most important of all is to make good exercise out of straineous training..

Last of all, I want to have someone who truly understands and be mirror to me, besides my loving sister, hahahaha.. ( bet this gonna chill her spine) p.s. sorry for waiting me at the corridor when I was talking to your classmates and during watching movie with my roommates and playing Dota in front of you ( this is for the person who is in Russia, not my sister!) My sister is waiting to get handphone with a greedy smile on her face thats for sure including laptop.. Patience and relax, I definately work hard to obtain all my credits and come home with a smile!! I wonder how are my family back in Malaysia, hope they are doing fine especially my sis, don't go banging on the car's butt when you drive!! HAHAHAHA!!!!

Lets go!

2010-01-08T11:37:00.000-08:00

Many things happen lately, as well growing fond of someone, But well here's a story,

Last Friday, which is the new year term holiday until to upcoming Monday which will be on the 11th will have collogium for Anatomy which will be tough to memorize and understand as well, So this holiday, what I am doing? Well read sleep eat memorize like idiot and growing fond towards a girl.. Oh man.... Anyways, few days to go, and I need to read russian and rememorize Anatomy...
I have a promise made to my sis which I must fullfil so I can't afford to lose.

For now I having alot of thoughts where are few challenges to be over with, I hope I could finish this obstacles so that lesser doubts in my mind to be settle with. 10 days have passed, and yet I in crossroads of my life. For few days passed, I still couldn't find my own true self, somehow lost in midst of characteristics...

But something good happen, I manage to play more than words on guitar.. Kinda amazed though.. Next song would be hmm, no idea..

Anyways, this is for now...

A few days vain.

2010-01-03T18:08:00.000-08:00

Back on the track for the 2010 prick of the year, guess what?
I am bored to death!!!! Ok!
First of call, copying and studying notes is seriously dead boring!!
Second of all, its to cold outside, hands and foot are numb, body shivering, funny thing of all, my face colour is the same, no red blushing...
Third, during playing Dota to kill boredom, someone just have to disturb me, in return I accidently call her pig... Sorry I din't mean it....I am bad if come to sweet talks.. Ain't my style to court girls..
Fourth, because of that punish myself to copy her notes til 5.30 in the morning, done and get a bath to chill..

Thus, I have 2 notes to read.. I am so dizzy!!!

Argh 6 more days to do exams!!! Gotto to study and memorize like mad!!!
I must not give up!! Few more and I am off to Malaysia!!!

New Year Resolution 2010

2009-12-31T09:38:00.000-08:00

1st of all, I pretty don't talk much about new year resolution because to me its no point to have a resolution if I don't make it true, or even bother trying to make it happen..

But still, I got 2 resolution, which is the same for almost every year and practically going for it!

1. Study and study to be a doctor. ( My own dreams to be one)
2. Improving myself no matter how it would be. ( Need to improve in attitude wise)

So this is my only to resolution throughout 15 years for able to think for my own goal, not my parents decide or so but my own decision when I was 5.

Thus, I try to make my own resolution on thing I have to accomplish, its a dream for everyone to accomplish it by doing it, and not by talking with no actions! Well perhaps not many really into new year resolution, It's just a hot stuff turn cold easily ( unless person with high enthusiasm its differ for 'em)

For me its true that I had alot of resolution every year, but only 1 still my main resolution and probably the same for everyone, which is to be a person.. So, to put it simply I just focus that suppose to do and keep it til I successfully become one, though last year I had my ups and down, failures and victories, but still, I will move on..

Lately, I manage to control most of my own temper, not fully though... Just to make my mind clear about it, I try to smile eventhough I am boiling with anger, I try to walk away when I am angry, I try to think when I am angry( most probably to control myself from just blurting out nonsense from my mouth),. I work it out somehow.. Need more time to control attitude wise., Plenty of error need to be corrected and best of all, I put alot of effort to change myself since last year I guess, try to be better as always.. ^.^

Well my last resolution, (maybe) I want to be a person who can really spend time with family as my father once said to me, to be a father must study and experience the true potential of becoming a person, basically, study to be a father.. I really miss my family back home in Malaysia, so I have to do what ever it takes for me to go home and be a successful man in my own way.

Today is 31st of December 2009 presents a gift and Tomorrow is 1st of January 2010 presents a mystery..

Few more days to go for holiday!!!!

2009-12-25T16:51:00.000-08:00

For past two weeks, I got myself into alot of exams, I sleep less than 3 to 4 hours, yesterday I din't sleep at all, seriously, I might shorten my lifespan pretty quickly now, Everything moves into pace now, I am now couldn't make my own decision sill, on whether I should fight till the very last or go and relax.. Nothing is easy but not that hard, I for now only aim to pass my 1st year eventhough I have to face hardship everyday, making notes, doing hometask so on and forth.

For now I just need to bear til next week until I sit for my exams to get my credit for my final test in second sem.. The days drawing close for me to get back to sunny Malaysia..

I can't wait for some miracle..

2009-12-15T12:02:00.000-08:00

Today I played my game well, basketball it is.. Somehow I dream of doing the imposible, but yeah I try it out, of course it is hard to do in reality rather in dream, silly me.. Since that, I overstressed my body and brain of mine, now having headache and body aching, so must do a lil' of practice to make it perfect.
Another thing, its getting chilly in Russia.. I couldn't even sweat with my comforter on.. I have to stand this extreme weather till next year, its like almost 4 months of cold.. Ahhh, to think off, Genting now its like nothing compare to the chillness here..
To make things imposible of imagining, I getting rusty on my Muay Thai.. I couldn't swing for moon kick and the croco.. Need to do something bout it before my body getting rusty..
Oh yeah, I currently playing 2 songs, one is the more than words and another is cant take my eyes off.. Hahaha.. It is hard to play without my teacher to guide me.. But well, practice more if I don't have talent, as saying hardwork override talent.. So learning 2 of 'em, I going take my time. If I got no exams and holidays, I'll definately practice..
Coming here, make me realise of my past self which I couldn't do, So now I make full of my life devoted to anything that I could learn base on time have given to me..

Well Don't give up and never give up.. Never even give thought of it..

My 1st year 1st sem

2009-12-14T15:33:00.000-08:00

Lately, I begin to understand how is life in Moscow, to be precise in RSMU, it wasn't easy or simple.. To start with one the 1st day tll now, if in academics wise, its pure mental torture, memorize, read read read, and exam if not collogium( important for credit test and major test and its like another test!!!) so basically test test test.
During form 6 I could sleep for hours long, but now, sometimes 2 or 3 hours period of sleeping. Got eyebags and headache.. Seriously, I think school days are still having leisure time while in univercity is for some serious deal with education.. Really stressful if couldn't pass the test and if manage to get distinction, its pure effort with luck.
Learning medicine degree is not an easy peasy task for undergrads to be one, and to be one must go through to many obstacles.
Lately I couldn't get my feelings right, yeah I had to fall for someone, I dreamt of her for past 2 nights.. and yet I got my exam for that 2 days.. Luckily I manage to pass.. I keep reminding myseif not to give up and never give up especially getting me ready for exams or sports, cause I'll know once if I give up, I'll fall and maybe couldn't take my chance anymore.
Sometimes, I just couldn't predict what's next for me. I just being blinded of stressness. Keep getting headaches..Hope it doesn't affect my health and studies. Yeah, thanks to that, my cough gets back as well having slight fever.. It take me a month to heal and yeah few days to fall sick again..
And about the girl I fall for.. A taiwanese girl, not that pretty and not that hot, but who ask me to make bet and lose the bet without money, yeah yeah in the end, I fall for her.. Though she din't notice that much since I couldn't show any affection for her.. Well, I just keep this myself, I wanna feel more heartache till affection is gone and maintain my cold self.. I seriously afraid I might get hurt again no matter how tough I can be since I am really weak mentality..
2 weeks left til new year holiday.. I hope I could last til the very last of me.. There is nothing but time, what I left now is time itself for me to accelerate..

The 1st years to perform..

2009-12-06T03:25:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, it is good to see how people goes in the motion.. game is the name.. it wasn't a good day for me.. I couldn't perform well at my game.. But at least wasn't last for it. This show I still got many place for improvements, though I know I suck but I couldn't give reasons for me to fall as well, I gotta climb from my mistakes and make it as experience.. This part goes to everyone in the 1st years, from my point of view, everyone is good, and definately better at their games, we manage to won in footsal, but not all sports we can make it through, we got last..

This goes that, I've lose my bet to a girl as well.. becoming her slave for a week, a day have past, 6 days to go.. All the joy have driven to exams tomorrow. Kinda sad thinking of it.. I really start to get bored on exams.. All is I wanna to pass and not aiming distinction.

Somehow, the fun past by short, but everyday is laughter itself, I just can't see what is ahead of me.. But just waiting for it to come by..

The beginning of an ending.

2009-11-27T20:29:00.001-08:00

Kinda stray and lose awhile.. Honestly I really tired after studying my russian language.. And a sweet succes of getting 5-... Feel good and worthy for trying my best and luck.. Getting my visa done as wele.. A pretty good day.. But a good turn always come a bad ones..

Getting sleep is more important than everything upon good thing but there are always people who comes and interupt my sleep which turn out as nap... And thanks to that I am awake til now and blogging... It really turns my bad side of temper.. And thanks to that I recieve a call from a person saying I like you.. yaya... what ever.. I got no mood in a call as well.. I just can't give any thoughts or feelings at that time...

So I went to Michelle's room.. Quite nice to release stress as in laughter with ching, michelle, saras, & shamni..

So here I am now sitting in front of the laptop, blogging, and trying to get sleepy..

My new times in Russia

2009-11-26T15:01:00.000-08:00

Its been 2 months the last I manage to blog.
Coming here its a new experience for me to explore..
What do I get?
Nice cool roommates.. Jack, Lawrence, Subash & Ted
What in the town?
Travel the furthest is Ikea, Mega, Ashan..
What in university?
Messed up education, and messed up timetable, but got a few nice teachers who really understand the way I speak.
What is my current sport?
Basketball, got a good captain Ricky! Now playing as center and training.. Still no good though...
What am I doing at home?
Sleeping, doing last minute hometask, and most likely hibernating like a lazy Russian bear.
Who do I like or having crush now?
No one so far ( honestly I just don't feel wanna have one yet and still not mature to have one still).
What is my results?
Sad to say, I failed my oral in chemistry and need to retake.. ( this is one lecturer who don't understand normal and simple english!) Others, by tough luck got 5 but not all( their marking systems 1&2= fail, 3=pass, 4= good, 5=excelent)
What is the current situation in Russia?
A nothing much going around in Russia, crazy drivers( I really wonder when is the last time they wash their vehicle, honestly, its like coming out from rally), a no-alcohol campaign going around( f---ed them, I have to smuggle heineken in, cheap bastards making me cheap alcohol buyer!!!), and lastly the upcoming university sports( which is next year, need to train properly, no stamina to run and jump the same time!).
What is really important to me?
My pasport so far ( can't afford to lose my identity).
What is my options here?
I got no idea..
What is my plans til Jan?
Struggle all the way..
What is my happiest moment here?
Nothing but tough times. Got nice parties to celebrate but common.. Interesting part is yet to come.
What I cook for dinner?
Chicken with tomato sauce( yet to perfect it), fry rice, and most likely eating curry cook by Subash..
What I am doing here?
No idea.. I come here with doubts and thoughts.. More likely come here to understand what is doctor and what is my new goal besides becoming one as a doctor or as best of interest.. Is this what I really fighting for or just another victim to suffer of a parents dilly dally dream..
What will you do next is things go unexpectedly?
I'll go over again doesn't matter whether I go over things accordingly, seriously what I have now is my time and only time for me to use to improve myself. ( not to mention there is a dude who thinks childishly when he is 1st year medical student who is already 27 years old, he could have find his true calling in childishly thinking, maybe?)
What happen things make me turn back to Malaysia?
First of all, nothing much happen, I can consider Malaysia as at least I have experience here being a student of Rsmu and proud being one, besides having close buddies here and in Malaysia, I just like facing new faces and lifestyle here but not to smoking clowns.. Docs who smokes is common in Russia but at times why couldn't they think for the sake of people around them, at least smoke in prohibited area and not in common area..

The least I could say.. Not bad considering here, if people with the certain results from foundation, matriculation, stpm and so on, but if aiming a better degree best take in Malaysia or in any other Comanwell countries with degree of MBBs, or euro cert aka MD in UK and other Euro countries which have equivalent level as MBBs, MD Rus is not the best amongst all but is used for specialization FRCs and FICs,

Finally, I really tried to make myself to understand my advantages and disadvantages being here and all, I have my hard times, I tried not to be an idiot making people to worry, as well I don't want to be pressured by personal feelings here ( I don't want people to have a crush on me but I like to respect as friends and sad to say I got bad experience with having a girlfriend due inability to understand), I miss MuayThai( Kru, I am really sorry I haven't finish up my training with you and to my friends and family in JakKickboxing, you guys really like a family), I miss my dad, mum and my sis ( Eventhough I hid from appearance but deep down famiy is always family) To dad, sleep more and take care mum who often sick and Simone study well and have more time to rest due exams, if I have a chance, that chance is to move ahead and I wish not to repeat the history,

"I lean my eyes as the eyes of the knowledge and seek the truth of becoming not only the questions of being but is the beings to question the unattend answer and that answer is dream to reality," this is me who take a part of a small yet a leap in life..

Its a long hell...

2009-08-23T15:11:00.000-07:00

Lately wasn't my best time at all.. To be honest, it is really one tough month..

The joy is short.. But sadness comes all along..

At first, family issues.. I am really angry at that moment I couldn't do anything but to cry deep down.. But at least, I still manage to take things back as normal.. So my family is peaceful..

Second issue, flight and luggage problems. To begin with, I am starting to feel annoyed when people around me asking,

"Hey Anthony, When are you leaving?"

I kinda tired asking the same damn question to my agent and damn annoyed answering back to everyone.. The answer is No!!!

I haven't get my ticket and I got plenty of things to do still. I need to buy some items such as lip balms and bed sheets with pillow case!!! All my clothes are practically done with..

Third issue, lately I quickly burst in anger!

Totally shit! I just sometimes easily get blood boil.. At times, I clench my fist, and always giving the thought of punching annoying shithead!! But never happen.. Somehow manage to cooldown and walkoff..

Fourth issue, I couldn't leave my trainings.. I like the studio and it is always my second home.. It feels so nice hitting the mitts and bags.. And people there are really nice.. Just couldn't give thought leaving there and back every semester break.. Kinda pathetic..

Fifth issue, Annoying relatives..

Who the hell are you bossing my life?? I tell my problems and ask for help and what shit you do?? Making bigger problems.. Causing me having more time to make my family peaceful.. Another thing.. Stop saying I am arrogant and bossing in my life.. I am practically answering your lousy question like asking about Muay Thai.. But stop asking silly shit like in the movies..

If really interested just get yourself to the studio.. They welcome you to try.. And another thing, if you make joke, please make sure it is understandable and forcing me to laugh with you dumbass.. If you don't like me, just say straight to my face. There is no need to involve my mother as middle person..

...

The good things..

Not much, too busy with the bad ones.. But I manage to get myself a good pair off shoes..

Nike Lunarglide.. Yeap! Eventhough the price are to crazy for that pair but at least it is good on my feet.. Mine was the black and orange.. Just bought it last week.. It is light and comfy..

This makes my grand total of Rm8210( include my winter selections, books, my lab coat, luggage and some other items)

Huge amount eh!! But that is the fact.. Since I bought some books.. Well better start doing some reading and get a brief idea how be a doctor.. Kinda lame though..

I wanna go to rest..

Superb Sunway

2009-07-15T20:28:00.000-07:00

One gloomy looking sky.. And that makes a perfect day( Except noon = very hot)

Well it started out by Bowie and Zhaf( whom I know on the same day)..

So, get out from home on one dark cloudy skies on Wednesday morning.. All packed and roll out..

So, upon reaching Sunway Piramid, make a u-turn back to Taylor and meet up at the all time restaurant..... Mamak restaurant.. Well this is Malaysian's best blooming restaurant.. Back to the event!

So, I drove and park my car, get down, a lil stretch and walk towards the mamak restaurant..

Woah! 2 guys 2 gals.. So with a lil introduction amongst ourselves.. So Who Do I Know Off?

Jeremiah aka Jeremy( He make me feel interested at Demigod)

Cheryl.. fair looking girls amongst us..

Zhaf the main man behind the trip event..

Bowie.. Getting interested pretty quick..

So 4 of 'em including me start the chatter and goes with funny IQ questions.. Well from brains to joke.. Bowie IQ test the best going with the pau on 200 IQ points.. Wow.... Winner.. Zhaf( High nose on that question)

Then to the Sunway Piramid.. As we reach there... Lagoon is closed and going for a walk in Piramid.. Nothing much to see except Jeremy tried the moonwalk on the escalator.. Went to pet shop and guitar lounge..( To be honest the handmake guitar had overwhelmed price and none of 'em below 3000 bucks..)

So, its closing to 11, take a quick walk back to Lagoon and going to the main entrance to pay up..

By the way.. WE DID WENT TO THE BIKIKI SHOP BEFOREHAND!!!

So we wear a power ranger wrist watch.. 10 bucks as deposit..

Time to get in the area..

Go to the toilet and get ourselves change.. Kinda windy at this time.. Take pictures at the Lazy tiger den and continue walking down to water park to dump our bags in the locker..

So our 1st ride is the ship... AAAAAHHHHHHHHH... Before we getting into the ship.. Zhaf see the measurements on Cheryl.. What a lucky girl indeed.. So this ship.. Any perculiar things?

YES IT DO HAVE ONE DAMN HELLISH SAFETY FEATURE..

THE BALL AND BOOB CRUSHER... It hurts everyone vital part( No idea on Jeremy but Zhaf felt relax.. Ohh the name came from Bowie so I adapted it.. HEHEHE)

Second ride, the ????

OK the name is quite intimidating but I forgot it but who cares.. It is fast, forcefull, and zero gravity.. The only thing you can see is.. Whatever you see around you..

3rd ride.. The potty mayhem.. I seriously recomend.. please turn the wheel as fast as you can.. So whos the dead man.. Zhaf.. He went all down to the bench and drop dead.. We turn the pot like the most fastest 360 degree round till everyone looked at us( they might be thinking how old is this guys????) What I know is Jeremy is the only one spinning th potty and zhaf felt like puking... Bowie and cheryl? Tipsy..

4th ride.. YEEHA.. The city of the lost gold???

Well, in this case.. there is one dude tried to flirt Bowie.. Who gives shit about him.. So went on..

It is so damn slow at the start to top of th peak.. So we go DOWN AND FAST.. This is good..

5th ride.. To the wet park.. the bull train..

It is the same as the 4th one but safer and slower..

6th.. The snake ride..

This is very good.. 3 people or 2 in this case 2 gals 3 guys.. and of course I am the behind one..

It started as in a boat with rubber sides and goes up and up and up.. Followed by splash in the water below for twice..

7th The 90 degree slide???

Well Jeremy sits alone on the boat.. So pair of gals and boys.. As we speak, I and Zhaf goes down the fastest and flying while the gals.. left behind..

8th ride The weirdo roundy shaped tyre..

It is more like upstream to downstreamkinda ride.. Quite bumpy..

After all the rides done, water park is next..

we go alot of ride actually.. and this time slide.. Carpet slide.. I don't want to comment in this due Zhaf is the reigning champ...

Then we go to the surf side.. Get wet wet and wet.. The sprinkles are damn nice.. So in this case.. Truth or dare game... So everyones truth bla bla bla.. And come the dare.. Bowie.. hmmm she gave up even before we ask her.. so punishment dip her head in the pool for 20 counts.. Next in the que.... Cheryl.. Dance with the float companied by a song Surfing USA.. 3rd man... Zhaf the macho dude... Well such leisurely say hi to a girl... fine... Lastly me... So go pick one random white dude.. So, I get up and go towards the guy and say hi.. but in return I ask them would they mind saying hi to my friends that interested at him... hehehehe..

So, go for the smaller pool.. for kiddies.. But no one cares... So Dip in... Then we go round in circles until there is one part the red indians giving middle finger sign.. No F***ing... lol

Then opt for the last 2 ride and carpet over and over again..

So, change and get going for dinner...

Dine at the buffet restaurant.. thats where Jeremy tells bout Demigod and camwhoring on yeah and hell yeah..

So lastly, we go back, laid back and enjoy.. Tired but fun! @.@!!!

It is foolhardy..

2009-07-15T17:24:00.000-07:00

Well well well, how should I begin with. A day without sleep after taking booze and dance in quattro, Ave K.. Very amazed at myself how the heck I am still awake.. I took black label pure for 4 cups and additional 9 and above as mix.. The feeling of drinking it, sucks, but I was in sober so who basically cares.. And the funny thing is I blog this while I am flimsy still.. My minds is here and not allowing me to sleep... I wonder what is wrong with my head.. Normally I wanna get drunk to forget pains and and my own silly pathetic life..

Somehow, today I don't feel much but it will not be my last to going to clubs and having good time with friends whom I know off.. Kinda nice making friends with the bouncers.. The show me the place and I get to talk with 'em personally on which liquor to get in good offers in a night only..

Got some friends who loves going clubs and I quite forgetful of their names and I only remember Dante and Nicholas.. The beat is too loud until I can't even hear their names properly.. Well not the both of 'em only. There were Michelle, her friends and her sister Marg along with her friend and cousins.. To sum it all.. A big group..(I guess so)Going to club knowing them a short while is nice but there are some complications, I know them just a lil / none... Another thing is the place is boring if there is no one to company along.. Basically I am sobering alone there.. Oh ya there is a weird yellowish drink which tastes funny, it is more like a mixture of vodka and some tangerine and something else( no idea what it is) and it costs freaking 20 bucks.. And 2 different girls giving to me..(Can't resist temptation from them until one of them gives up my another 20 bucks is saved).

There is another thing happen to me.. I got my feet step by countless people ( my bad for wearing flip flops) From waitress to guys to girls to man to lady.. Even it happen outside where I got my foot stumble by a drunkard... Sheesh.. Everytime I go to the loo, I have to que for it and when I got there , only 3 stand to pee.. And the sink fill with vomits...

After all the joys, I have to drive home alone.. That time, I feel light headed eventhough I could walk properly but still flimsy all the way to my car.. I walk the stairs and get rid of my flimsiness but putting some sweat and put my brain in state of order.. It is hard to do so and seriously I had the feeling my trainings is not enough..

So drove to 7 11 to get some mineral water and rest awhile by driving from KL to my house and go to Rawang to get my important stuff where I hid it a long time and go back to the same road I took from KL all the way to Cheras... Stop by aside and walking around in the dark( Well I sort of afraid abit but I really need to stroll to get some air)

Walking down the same road as before, I keep remembering the events where my car stuck in the workshop.. The road to Neway and outside Leisure mall.. Kinda miss the old times and I tried hard to forget but everything seems like yesterday..I shed the same tears at the same place as I still remember the same spot and the same actions on that unfateful day.. There are no one to share my pains( my sis is an exceptional and some names I refrain to say) I kept everything to myself and couln't tell it out why and why and why is this happening to me to anyone..

There are few I could trust but I couldn't tell or convey it to them. I have to fake my smiles like there is nothing to be happy about, faking most of the joy I had as if they were nothing and play along with childish smiles.. I am happy though since I manage to put some real smiles to anyone and start to change bit by bit. I threw my old self and giving myself my own forgiveness and take something new..

There are people become my role model, my master (Kru), my sis( kinda good to have a sis of mine), Han, Ken, Ca-ryn, Nizam, my own dad, some of my friends as well..My life is nothing but to regret on my misdoings and my ill behaviour. Now I wanna take back what suppose belong to me even the person whom I care the most and all my lost. It sounds impossible to me for the time being but I try to get back on my own will..

Crapy week pt 2

2009-07-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

There was nothing much I can say during this epic.. Devastated by the hospital management and the slacking workers there.. But somehow there is nothing much to write about so to the main issue.. Along the bedridden sis there always time I feel like there is nothing much I can do.. No internet which can make me dull and there is nothing much on the television. I can become like an idiot just by staying a day there.. eventhough I never come to realise that this hospital have the most equipment and advancement, but never priortise the importance of a patient beside sleeping and rest like a fool there.. The nurse is in the canteen most of the time. But anyways this is much I can tell about this particular lame hospital I ever been through.

Pj>Pangkor

2009-06-29T09:48:00.000-07:00

Well first of all.. It is a bad day... My dad is sick.. At 8 am I have to travel all the way to pj.. Fetch him and go all the way to jalan ipoh to see a doctor whose name is kok kai yan.. So upon admission.. the doctor can tell what sickness my dad have by.. using his stetoscope for not even a sec long on my dad's chest..

Well after the check up. Take the medicines and go back home.. Then rushing to pack my stuff for going to Pangkor...

So I drove all the way to pj again... To take my Phase 1 exams.. quite nervous and depressed cause I forget 2 bring my most important stuff.. My undies and my shampoo... Pretty darn lame.. So, well Lijean come and fetch me... Her so called new licence.. Really making me puke at the back though I talk much.. But as long I seat behind, somehow I can get drowsy.. Her sudden break and sudden accelerate.. Then somemore don't give a damn attitude of driving.. I really don't feel safe.. I started to miss my car at that moment.. So she drove to her friends house.. Well nothing much to crap over there since she is craving for rendang... I at that time thinking about my dad...

Well she couldn't have her rendang due the time is closing to 7.. We head off to pj.. One pretty darn lame thing happen during her driving... She can't fill petrol... She can't even know how to open the lid and to put the nozzle in.. Okay.... I don't care what is she trying to crap having her mum to fill up instead of her... But still Can't You Pump It By Yourself?..

Well back to the exams.. As I reached there.. I get a new boxer and get changed fast since I am late for it... Learn the Clay wrap, Boran 1 and Boran 2.. Tested on the wrap.. Funny things happen when master said something...

Master: How come you don't know to wrap.. dating with one of my instructor..
Jun Han: ..... (in silent)

Back to the wrapping session.. Marcus was testing us... So most of us pass it...

So now the real thing... Punches like mad man till 9 plus... But alot of rest interval in between.. After that went down to get some drinks... And get back up for kicking session.. So many crocos and knees.. 100 croco and 50 knees.. I felt damn tiring but who give the heck out of it.. So I and Justin just go all out.. kick even before Han give the go signal.. So after that everyone passes.. Very happy for it..

So go down back to Lijean car.. She drove all the way to burger king.. Switch car.. I go with Jun Han as the driver.. Somehow At least I feel safe eventhough she drive fast.. I still can calculate how many times Lijean overtake us.. Not even a left right signal... If I was the driver... I'll think

"Nowadays so many accident due to many 'ah po' drivers.. and if I drive fast I couldnt have accident on her tail... "

Well I have no comment on the new drivers since I have my own accident and pretty bad ones which nearly cause death upon the road users due to my ignorant and ego...

Well back to the topic.. Go to Lijean house fetch her and go all the way to JunHan house.... OMG.... The house is like a castle.... Much supreme than mine.... Greet her parents and take our supper.. bath.. and talking in Junhan room.. So as I wanna go to bed.. The crazy Lijean wanna play Nitendo Wii... Feeling so sleepy and restless but this crazy girl just have to make people doesn't want to sleep.. In the end, she sleep so damn good.. I can't even shut my brain off.. To much of disturbance outside... Cars ,truck , motocycles and dogs... So much noise until I can't sleep..so damn annoying..

5.30 am.. I get up since there is an idiot with the car with the engines on.. trying to make fuss outside.. I so damn pissed at that time.. For the record, I don't want to overnight at someone house if there is inconsiderate people for not making me sleep.. I feel going back at my house and get my sleep since there are less inconsiderate people in my housing area.. But well my temper is quite okay on that saturday.. Normally I'll go moody and angry pretty quickly..

So go down to pj and get my undies from my parents... and drove back to subang at 7 plus.. I had my morning drink which is milk.. So a little talk from kru to drivers and some words to us... So we start driving at almost 8 am if I am right.. And drive all the way to pelabuhan Lumut for almost 4 hours.. During that journey, I took some pictures of the paddy field and love pics from ken and junhan.. As well some nap.. And there is always a pig who doesn't buckle up and sleep on my lap.. causing cramps on my left leg for keeping stationary there.. I always gave thought why this person doesnt care her safety on her own.. so clumsy at all times.. sometimes words don't meet the brains until she get knock out of it..

There is quite some stops for rest and go to the loo... Well we gather at a place and hear the story of three pigs from the kru.. joke around... And I saw there is a kid who keep kicking the kitten.. Such cruel boy... Not to mention the lame Lijean who keep ewww and hate kittens and dogs... I never seen such fear to furry animals such as lijean.. Giving so much excuses for hating the dogs to lick her.. hate the creepy cats eyes.. I was like wondering even small kid can kick the cat cruelly and an animal fear girl.. Couldn't help what is keeping their mind..

Well back to the journey, Upon reaching the place, get to the car park and go to the stall for the famous cendol drink.. Very tasty on the hot day basis... Get to the ferry and enjoy the hot winds..

So, reach the Pangkor Jetty for the second time.. Then check in the hotel.. I go take my sleep on the bed there before training.. At 3 plus.. Han, Ck, Boon, Justin and me going to walk to the beach.. Followed by Ken and Junhan.. It was a damn hot day...So chatter at the beachside..

While waiting for the others to come.. we walk back.. well before that ken and junhan walk back 1st.. So we saw kru coming and others as well.. So we head back to the beach and learn some leg massage.. It was a massacre for me to massage CK.. My fingers nearly out of strength for massaging his leg.. And when he massage mine... I felt pain and agony..Well.. doesn't matter as we go dip in the salt water.. After that we learn the limb destruction method.. and jump back to the sea again.. Then we go back to the hotel and get bath.. So while waiting for them, I get myself a tasty burger.. with curry powder.. Rm4 for double special.. So I go for it, some steam corns and a drink.. So I am eating them at the balcony while waiting for my turn to bath.

So after bathing, go down to have dinner on the grilled fish.. after that go for my own things.. which is finding some clothes to buy for my sis.. Then get myself beer to drink and go back to the room.. Play cards with my roommates and watch tv.. Go down again for supper and back to the beach and enjoying there...

So back to the room, I head back with CK and I went to sleep since I was tired for the whole day.. Justin and Boon drop dead on the bed.. And then me, followed by Han and Ck..

Next morning.. I woke up late.. Clean myself and get down for breakfast.. and hit the beach.. This time using sarong to protect ownself.. go to the sea to swim and then get onto the banana boat.. It was so much fun.. After that went kayaking with Lijean, Ken and Junhan..

So back to the hotel, bathe and pack to checkout and go to the hall.. Suddenly Lijean came down asking the necklace she gave to Marcus, Dzianti was blur at that moment.. So everyone go back the same spot to find the necklace.. I was with Justin.. Han stopped by to get himself a drink and the couples just walking slowly..

So as I reached there. I saw a man digging for the necklace and guess What Marcus found it and the necklace back to the owner..

Back to the hotel.. taxy is there.. go to the jetty and farewell to pangkor..

A long the crappy week.. Part 1

2009-06-06T10:01:00.000-07:00

Bedridden, tired and stomach aching award goes to my sis.. Hail appendix.. Jackpot hitter and only after eating curry... (sigh).... Admitted to ward at 4 but I and my dad were there since afternoon 12... I and my dad were pissed at the management of Assunta hospital.. Totally what the hell are you women doing? We need to go to the bank to open account for my further studies and yeah what we get are waiting like mad people cursing the damn work etiques. In the end, no bank and no account.. It is already 5 since 12 we are there.. Not even a chance to withdraw cash.

Not only that I am cursing that hospital, I even curse the management.. Can't even do appropiate details.. My dad like thinking which room to put my sis in.. At first say 30 minutes put in 4 bedded room and that is when the report out saying my sis just done for the ultrasound scan.. But the truth is, she need to go to x-ray... Stupid idoits.. Why don't you tell us earlier, At least we still can put her in 1st class..

At that time she was warded and we going out for having our afternoon lunch since in the morning not even a grain of rice enter our digestion.. When we were out, the hospital call in.. Saying we need to go to sign for the anesthetic... I was like in damn hot temper.. After calls out, I was like "damn you 'BITCH' ".. Can't you tell earlier before we go eat! When my dad enter back to the car, I told him that we need to go back to hospital.. And he was even more pissed than me.. He say "what the hell... They should've tell me this!!!!" And so we turn back and rush to the hospital to sign..

Sigh, And as we are going to the canteen.. Again another call... Saying we need to go to operation theatere (OT is the another name).. WE JUST ORDERED OUR FOOD AND WE GOING DOWN BACK AGAIN?????? I really feel damn sad.. If I were the doctor there I really blast the hellhole out of them.. Ok there we go.. Went to OT and we wait another 30 minutes just to sign the anesthetic and in the end the doctor came and did the surgery on her..

Finally, to the canteen..(to be continued for part 2)...

(point of view)
For a week I couldn't stop my eating habits no exercise and even not enough sleep.. My oh my... I waste lots and lots of my money even my parents give me cash is not enough for myself.. Darn broke and darn to travelling... Toll is one issue and the petrol is another issue plus my hungry appetite even worst I am sleepy which add my hunger..

The week of hell is truely madness... I had to bring my parents clothes for them to change after working hours.. Yet I forget to bring their sandals.. Another scolding from my mum... I am at fault for not remembering but no need to scold like there are no tomorrow..

Unplanned days..

2009-04-19T11:08:00.000-07:00

There you go.. KKBEAR & LAYHOON...
THAT'S ME & LIJEAN..
Well the beautiful night scene at Sunway.. Think so..
In the karaoke session...
The stress killers scream and full with emotions.. Blek!!!

Lately my live turns 360 clockwise and 360 anti-clockwise.. There are many reasons to it.. First, my kick boxing time went haywire due to my puppy injuries need to be taken care off and my sis tuition timing a 'lil off.. What a busy week!!!

But lately there are some nice events going around.. First the karaoke session with HKL (Dugong MIA)..

Kinda good when I am out with them.. Very funny and off charts..

At noon about 2pm, I drove to fetch layhoon 1st & kkbear at ktm central... And what do you know.. KKBEAR IS CLUELESS WHERE HE IS!!!!!! I like wanna strangle him for walking up and down where my car is just opposite his direction... But in the end he found my car..

Well to the road on the way to lijean's house, alot of chatter in the car saying hungry and all but a nice journey except a 'lil traffic jam in midpoint at federal highway..

Minutes later before reaching lijean's house, she called up and taking bath.. So kkbear put a suggestion that lijean cant wear a skirt.. So I do agree with him cause the imagination is so wrong with she wearing skirt.. But layhoon keep saying she thinks lijean wearing skirt.. I like laughing til my stomach grumble for food.. Anyway upon reaching her house.. Our guess was right where she wears a short..(expected) So continue driving to Sunway piramid, find a carpark and go to AMP SQUARE.. The karaoke lounge.. Quite nice.. The room was kinda small but just nice for 4 people.. So the singing mayhem goes on and on from 3 to 6.. I kinda lose my voice shouting for linkin park song and simple plan.. Then after that we go for a movie which name Coming Soon.. Kinda creepy but not that scary.. The funniest of all.. I was shocked but not the movie but lijean who kept pulling my left arm and layhoon's.. Both of them like screaming ah ah AHHHHH!!!! I thought I was scared but I was scared by them two.. which makes me a wuss too... Sad!!!

Before the movie we went to a jap ramen shop.. I always make the 1st call and my food comes the 1st.. And theirs was the bento set and mine is the ramen.. So after the turn of events, I sent lijean home 1st follow by kkbear.. and later is layhoon at 1 Station in metroprima.. I was like thinking "OMG"... I am alone in the dark driving home road is empty especially road going to the mall which had no lamps till now.. Everytime I have to pass that road to reach home after my kick boxing and now after my driving duties.. I have no more guts to face the rear mirror cause I thought I saw one passanger sitting at my back.. As I stumbled again, it seems no more from there.. I quickly drive home and took my quick bath.. Go to sleep... The next day, I seem to be back to normal..

Till next turn of events..

A month after STPM results.

2009-03-30T02:24:00.000-07:00

Hmm lazying at home is the main thing here.. After that fateful day, I couldn't walk the way as I experience before..

Now, doodle with my laptop, sit ups in my room, eat(common I guess), sleep(common as well), toilet business( ?? common??), and got no idea what I need to do.

On the other hand, I got Kick boxing phase 1 exams coming in June, then thinking of going to work with my parents( which likely happen 1%), or going outside with my sister.

The another mission for me is to get the jigsaw puzzle which fuss me out due out of stock and need to wait about a week?? Taking up my guitar lessons soon and buying myself a snooker cue which cost me about Rm370+/-.

Grrr!!! The most unfortunate event that happen to me is my racket snaps its tension and got a dirty grip... Ugh I am so broke this time..

But, kinda enjoy this moment where I can got most of my freedom till I get my offer letter from Russia.. Hope I manage to get it.. Though my parents kinda hating me leaving them especially from my mum due of cold( Actually she gives so many reason for me to give up going to Russia) Another fact that they don't like me going there because in Russia they beat up some people who they don't feel comfortable with ( It happens in most of the major and developing countries).

I hope I manage to pass my phase one exams to counter this problems..

Now I realise how much I'll lose and how much I gain during this holidays. Things that I lose is my own mistakes in my own past and things I gain is getting friends to accompany me during times of hardship and some live experience.. Knowlegde is vast and varies and it doesn't compromise readable materials but living to experience is the most valueble knowlegde.

It seems most of my life seeing new criteria and adapt it to myself..
Well til next time.. hehe >O

Long term???

2009-03-21T02:11:00.000-07:00

Oh no, sigh, and ouch!!!!! Why of all things I grasped for breath and fall dead onto the ground.. Yeah, it was kick boxing.. Very tiresome.. I was like a dead fish without water, and all I have to blame is my own asthma, which cause my breathing problems and most of all my lungs can't expand properly..

So to comprehend my own problems, there are many things I should do before and after trainings..

Thus I come up with new solution which is,

1. More exercise to increase the duration or expansion of my own lungs.
2. Emphasize on more rest like 10 hours (minimum 7 hours)
3. Swimming ( for my own sake that gives fact I can't swim very well)
4. My own diet ( I tend to eat alot and lots)
5. Focus everytime when I am working out
6. Lastly, mentality power which breaks the limit possibility of my own body..

Next step of giving out more durability and stamina of my own body,

1. Do slow push ups.
2. Do slow sit ups
3. biceps and triceps training is to hold longer than rather up and down.
4. Leg extension and full stretch.
5. Pilates
6. Cool down. ( very important before and after of any rigorous exercises )

So much to do for my own hell.. And here is some pics of me in the studio in Sunway,

Good or bad??

2009-03-15T09:49:00.000-07:00

Well first of all, I got my result at 12.30 on last wednesday.. Very very very depressing as I am trying to open the piece of letter at hand.. The moment of truth had risen from hell's deep, At my first glimspe I saw my result printed in blue..thank god wasn't red.. Then to my points, it was one A 3B's.. I was so happy at dat moment. I thought I gonna flunk and had to take my second option. So I went to my agen's office and settle my route to russia.. He was also shocked that I am able to get 3.0 the exact figure.. And so the last thing I need to prepare is my passport to Russia and my plans have taken its course..I shall not waste my second chance that my dad give to me..

Oh since the aftermath of my result, many things going to recourse itself and of all is my own time to do things that I wanna do.. As such rearrange my schedule and after all I am not going to my college anymore so I can spend more time one my Muay Thai, chill with my friends and most of all is to learn to adapt new lifestyle as a preparation to Russia..

Perhaps, there are few things I couldn't forget which is the regrets that I face up till now and that is going to remind me not to stray to that path anymore.. I must keep my promise to someone who pass away long time ago and to my parents..

Eventhough I couldn't make somethings right but I am experiencing things beyond my capability of knowing it.. Life is so wild yet incomplete..

Learning??

2009-02-22T08:06:00.000-08:00

Hmm it is very disturbing fact that what I am to do when there aren't anything to do?
Firstly what I am trying to imply is whether the fact I am taking kick boxing classes is good or not?
Well I kinda love this class and by the way it is almost a month that I am learning Muay Thai or commonly known as kick boxing in Thai..
Ok! I can say it is fun and really a good stress reliever.. As everytime when I travel to the place is in traffic mayhem but when doing the learning process, it is seriously good.. My stress just go off and somehow getting in the mood to learn new moves.. My first trial class learning steps and pull some punches.. Of course at first I am not used to move in a flow but as thing goes I manage to use full swing at my cross jabs, uppercuts, hooks and some combos as class keep going on.. Then I learn the the knee.. lead and rear kicks to force the person back.. Kinda hard though.. Then next is the lead and rear knee, and lastly the croco.. All these are one heck of a day.. And then combos the following day.. Every lessons are addicting..

Secondly, my life.. I wonder what is my next move when I am trying to improve myself as keep skipping classes.. 5 times only in 2 months.. ( not wise though)! haha nevermind that but seriously I wanna strive to be the best in my college..

Third knowing new guys in my course.. Let me tell you it is very hard to get friends there as most of them are rotten like drinking and smoking as well.. So it is really hard to know who is good and who isn't.. But not to my close friends like Naveen, since he knows what to do when he smokes and din't blow to my direction.. My best pal hahaha.. I really got no idea why my course mates smokes since they have no reason of smoking also.. Cool??? Hahaha not my case at all..

Lastly for past few days I keep on thinking that is that hard to give in something?? Like putting in a new leaf? I am doing so like planning what to do next and which must be in priority.. But somehow things doesn't go in my favour and so I still wanna bear things in mind that I must be improving not degrading or rot like street clowns who don't even know what is their plans..

Anyways Suman please keep blogging as I'll try to be more of critism on government of our country.. haha..

Cool!!!

2009-02-11T09:24:00.000-08:00

Wow.. I got my test papers results!!

Guess what...

Most of the papers I dint get my marks and keep hidden from me!!!!!

Depressed ==!!!!

But

I got my physics 79%
I got my Chemistry 94%
and so far two papers only!!!! What the heck!!

Where's the others..

So frigging sad.. But I still will work hard to achieve 100% each paper.. Since my chem and physics can reach above 70%, so I will try go pass the limit barrier and be the top in my college and show that even normal people like me can soar to be the best.. But still need to work hard on my presentation!! I can't explain things but I can write and this is unacceptable for me.. Damn humiliating..

Oh ya.. I make quite number of friends there.. Aaron, Wilson, Prakash, Sean, Irzy, Ajib, King kong ( I forget his name), Jay, Murvin, Satish, Cornelius Anthony (brother from another mother) and some others that I got no idea their names is..

Then I got elected as a class representative.. Then got trouble all times in the class and lecturers like promoting me in the class by calling my name.. Somehow girls are starting to study hard like wanna take me out.. Ah before I forget, I know this girl whos name is Keily Wong.. Somehow she is the only chinese in my class.. but she is not that pretty( forgive me if this hurt but in my eyes somehow making me to picky) sad case..

While I was in starbucks getting myself a frap green tea.. She comes to me and ask me to help her.. OK weird!! So she ask me to tell the lecturer that she couldnt attend to his class and take his notes.. Eh paperboy?? And I forget to ask her number.. Sheesh!!! But nevermind who cares.. Haha.. Then I gave the paper the following day. But somehow I am getting attracted to help her.. Ugh whats wrong with me.. @.@!!!

Then another funny thing happen.. I got myself in a funny situation. Moral class.. So basically no one cares the moral class.. But this teacher is not entirely strict and he is nice.. So he give me a good comment

"Waa nampak macam gangster, rambut merah, banyak piercings tapi kelakuan baik.. Keep this up!" Said by him!!

Prakash heard that and laugh till his tears roll.. I like WHAT??????????
Oh man..Somehow things must make me laugh.. Not bad eh..

Hmm there's more, I become chemistry puppet for some demonstration and ask me to check people's mistake on the board.. O.O?
Huh? ME??? And answer some other questions??? Summarise???
To add more laugh juice.. My friends pull gay pranking.. They so gonna die.. Haha joking..
But somehow I am getting the attention and of course not good for the girls since they like study damn hard in front of me and they whisper that I wouldnt last long as the top student.. Geez give me a break already..

Now Iam looking forward to study, study and study,
Getting to class since every class is good except for arabic lecturers.. The pink panther slangs.. Ish!

Anyway till here only. I'll try to update if I have a time.

This is to my dear friend and as close as a brother, David.. Good luck study in Australia.. All the best in 3 years and I 'll visit you when I go to Russia study..

Klcc + One Utama

2009-02-03T05:13:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, Hmmm??? what happen? I remember I was going out with Josiah, his sis and cousin sis.. So I leaving my house bout 9 something and get to oil station and to Josiah Ching house (aka jojo ching) So I reach late, haha still in Chinese New Year mood but rather sleepy.. Well nevermind.. Today I was somehow suprised by the cousin of his.. Australian.. At 1st I couldnt catch what was she saying but get used after awhile.. Anyways I drove to Kepong Sentral for going to Klcc with train.. Then we reach Klcc bout 30 minutes or less.. Who cares the time.. haha.. So we at suppose to meet an Englishman by the name Andrew. Yeah but jojo cousin says he is boring!
Jess( jojo sis) was looking for the loo .. Guess what happen? the loo charge us 2 bucks just for pee? Jojo ching say just head for another.. Leave the bloody toilet and head for next..

Done!! After toilet, ok Andrew you're in play.. But I am hearing Holly keep saying he is not a guy, mummy's boy this and that.. Ok ok .. At 1st I think he is cool but somehow he gives me the signs he is one..

Ok the movie.. with respect for @#!$$#@#@ such God love jojo and the rest of us argue on movies!!!!! Grrrr.. Underworld NO!! due unholy jugdement for jojo.. then No again on Bride wars and in the end Inkheart.. I am falling asleep if it is not for the laughing scene.. Boring cause less action and all talks.. Rather dissappointed! Nevermind..

But before the movie, we went to Kino bookstore, so fantastic..Anyways I am not in love of books since it is the new year mood.. Ok I went to the sports shop.. Cool and afordable .. Then follow Jess and Holly for their toys'r us to get some toy flowers and some cubes.. Eat at B.king.

Then go to sg wang for food after movies.. talk lots lots of thing and back home..

Day 2, One Utama..

It was fantastic.. to me of course.. Well same group but excluding Andrew and include my sis..
Well we go to eat at TgI for brunch.. then loitering around.. Josiah went for books.. the girls go for shop a holic before the movie Bride wars at 1.45..

So me.. I go to look for baseball and footsal field.. And go for rock climbing.. But not enouge time since I decide to play pool 1st before rock climbing..

then head for the movie.. Hmm good.. but jojo nearly sleep.. As for me, nice but boring as well.. Nevermind.. After the movie, I go to play at arcade.. Rambo!! VERY DAMN GOOD!!!! I love it.. Then I saw a girl playing house of the dead 4.. Not a hot chick.. but she is good playing at it.. Then end up at starbucks for coffee and go to look at Mont Blanc for pens.. Too expensive!!

In the end go back due my mum making noise.. Tired but enjoy my day.. ^^!!

Haaaa end week study @ LIncoln..

2009-01-22T09:11:00.000-08:00

The first week kinda bored nothing much to learn.. This is the 1st class I experience semi uni life.. Somehow very depressing which I AM THE ONLY CHINESE BREED THERE!!!!!! *Sigh*

At 1st I used to the atmosfere due I always hang out at TARc but somehow I am back to study life.. 8 months from Jan and starts at 1 till 5.20 pm and got many replacement class due to our calender have many public holidays. If there are replacement class, so it will be starting at 8 am till 12.20pm.. then continue for the 2nd class!!! Worst!!! =.=!!!

Now it is the 1st step to achieve my goals of life, and 2nd I'll be leaving to Russia for 6 years and planning to come back once in a year.. I have so many plans and now going through one by one and slowly grab my life where it should belong.. I don't want to stray away just because I think life is never made simple!! By the way On early August to 2nd week Sept is my departure time...

Will I able to step out? Hard to answer that but I must do it to make it a dream to accomplish.. So back to the story, in this college I am studying now is somehow boring but still a process of knowlegde.. For this past few weeks, I give myself a thought that I must be my usual self where I don't want to waste my time rotting for not doing anything like I waste my time during F6.. This is my second chance to make it out..

In this college I found my way back and something happen all the way ever since a week ago.. First I am the most lousy in this class but except math!! No idea why I must study Advance maths which is similar to F6 math but more crazier in terms of solving.. At 1st I thought it was easy but $$@!#%^&-=%.. The reason is because it is a combination of pure, applied, and mechanics maths... Grrrr!!!!! When study the theory it was damn easy but when come to problem solving, it is a butt kiss goodnite.. Since it is my 1st ASSIGNMENT, it took me a day to solve that crappy question... So damn confusing!!! @.@!!!

The other subjects in my course is Human anatomy, Further bio (?????), Chemistry (same to F6), Physics (no idea what for I study??), Russia language, and MORAL!!!!!!!!!!!! PUI!!!!! Hmm the study atmosfere, somehow lonely dude but manage to get to know 2 girls and 2 boys.. But not so close since I wasn't there for the orientation week.. *sigh*

For most class, I become a sacrificial goat to solve some weird examples.. So damn depressing.. Who would imagine red hair with 5 piercings be the friends with other classmates??? Except some people who ask me whether pain or not I pierce so many!! And to make more alienated atmosfere, most boys got pierce at most 3.. ME? hahaha most weird of me that I can say...

Anyways the lecturers are nice to me and the management staff as well.. HEHE!! Most of them love to chat and make the situation so damn funny.. I can't describe but best you experience for yourself.. Who says eccentric can't do humor and who says normal people can't join the fun?! But without them.. Bored for the 4 hours 20 minutes...

Somehow most nites I couldn't online due got lots of things I need to refer to the net for general knowlegde and problem solving.. By the way, Happy Belated birthday dugong!!! I couldnt celebrate your birthday due busy with life.. And to everyone, HKL, my best friends David Teh, Suman, Naveen, Fitri, Sean wong, Edwin, Kang, Ivan, Aswin, and whoever names I din't mention good luck for achieving the best..

HkL Big mummy birthday boy!!!!

2009-01-11T08:21:00.000-08:00

Here is a kickoff...
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you kok kok bear!!!!!!
Make wish birthday boy!!!! Muahahahaha...
Happy 20 year old naughty boy!!!!

Great day yet a pain day..

2008-12-08T09:19:00.000-08:00

Well how to put this in words..

Ehm erhm.. I am sick!!! and on sunday!!!! and my sis birthday!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!

Throat aching
Feverish
Coughing
Joints aching
Hungry
Dizzy
Lazy
h
Headache....

Great!!!!
Now

Suffering on the bed..

Night....
birthday party...
and here's the pics..(forgive me due I am sick)

Hkl ruleZ once more..

2008-11-30T18:25:00.000-08:00

Practically, sounds crazy and euphoria people as well as nutcrack panjack idiots fooling around at Asia cafe in Sunway.. So here is the menu of the day..
Piggy Jean: Hey wanna watch movie???
Dugong: Ask Nini whether he wants or not...
I and kok kok bear no problem one..
(Piggy Jean sending sms....)
Piggy Jean: Kor, Free or not for movie...
Nini(Anthony):Hmm not free lar, got tuition with Dugong..
Piggy Jean:Isit??? ...... Cant cancel arrrr???
Nini:Hmm I think can gua since Dugong like to "lepas Kapal Terbang"
Piggy Jean:Sure or not?? I feel very guilty asking kor to cancel tuition..
Nini: Sure lar.. That Dugong love to give many reasons for not coming and if like that better go
for movie...
Piggy Jean: Later Dugong fetch kor.. I go preparing..
Nini:O.o.....

(Moments later while watching Bruce Lee until 9.30pm)

Dugong: I reach alrady....
Nini walking to the gate where kok kok bear running to the toilet and then all get into the car....
(I forget what is the content of the talks and craps during the journey to Piggy Jean house.. But one thing for sure is about sex and love talks... = so so so so so crazy they talk until but I care less)

Upon reaching the location, Piggy Jean gets into the car.. Then all the talks goes again... All the bla bla bla and bla.. End up in Asia cafe... Eat and then play pool...

All hard, Not a day is interesting.. But Kick ass Yeah!!!!!

2008-11-25T11:47:00.000-08:00

Haha.. So today I manage to blog since I am going to reach to the end of death field.. After that, what is my plans.. Hmmmm....
1st: Must pack up for trip and holiday...
2nd: Then after that, I ll be changing my new looks and getting something started, thus heading to gym and burn lots and lots of glycogens and fats!!!
3rd: Then of 'cause, I got to fix all my cars, and modify to smoke and beef'd up some road spice..
4th: Get into holiday with friends...
5th: Hate to say this, I ll be looking for my old partner for some business to finish up...
6th; Getting into work which anyone could offer and may go Australia to get into entrance exam.. After that, my journey begins once more...

Now getting started to kick ass.. Hkl Troupie is going to kill some fish in the sea.. Yeah you hear me right.. Fishing after exam.. Hope this plan goes well and will keep some updates of our idiotic troupie one day out.. More pics will upload to keep track of it...

The Ham Ka Ling troupie.. (forgive for da name since dugong ask me to do so)

2008-11-03T10:59:00.000-08:00

Victory and the conquered Bukit saga...
Bihun.. Too tired for pose
Mr Dugong: Apalar... I so tired...
Kok kok bear: I am so well until I can carry the fatty dugong at my back... O.o!!!!!
Monkey me...
Kok kok bear evolve into cimps
Thats my sis.. so lovely siham... opps...
Yo nice.. but my head to big...

Behind the big unknown tree..
That is siham and dugong..
Hehe accidently cut the p****
Ahaha..
Only us can hear the moans + screams + laugh...
The HANGED MAN.....
Huh ? O.o?
Nice kick!
Bihun + kok kok bear
The lame + lazy teacher
Yup that us the Hkl groupie...

Outstanding pose' KokKok Bear: wariyaaa....ooooo....
Thats my insane teacher.. Mr Dugong: Yeah man!
Thats me.. Anthony: Hahaha.. I can stretch further than you 2.. Hahahaha..
It is awhile I couldn't blog my entry..
1st.. My lamest mistake of all that I forget to pay my internet bill for 3 months.. Ouch!!!!
2nd.. Because I weren't notified from anyone..

Such pooper..
Now the ravage of round 2

Ok Here is the stupid shedule...
6.30am.. Fetch layhoon...
7plus.. Reach cheras..
7.30am.. breakfast.. Talking on a show that so yeng because of this word.. Hkl.. (ham ka ling)
7 near to 8... doing stupid stunts and warm ups..
8am the morons walking...
near 10 plus.. reach the rest point.. All is being tackled by Dugong.. Siham ko ed her right tendon..
11plus.. go down..
12plus.. just reach down.. due to siham injury... dugong pk and kok kok bear live singing... same time travel to a place to eat... wow delicious foods..
1 something.. bowling challange.. The winner...... Is me.. Haha sure thing la... The proud dugong clean the gutter many times...
And after that fetch siham home and bihun home as well.. Tuition at 7.30pm.. Then call my friend cancel the basketball comp... and clean myself up.. eat + sleep..

Hiking Experience...

2008-10-01T22:22:00.000-07:00

Jean Tk and Kok kok bear

Happy rock climbing... Wow Tough...
Me and Kok Kok Bear
Kok Kok Bear and Jean
My teacher and his students..
We are going to be that peak..
So rocky and narrow...
Thats me Hallucinating and after looking bottom.. Very Very Highhhhh.....
Thats the Dam....
Lay Hoon... Tired...
Hmm well well if it isn't Bukit Tabuh.. So this is my first time hiking here... So All I can say is... I din't get my sleep... I am nervous like heck yeah... So take my bath at 5am.. Then drove out to Kl about 5.30 until 6.. Fetch Lay Hoon at 6.30.. Yeah this my 1st time meeting her.. So all the greetings and so so.. Drive all the way to TARC... Wait for teacher.. Mr Leong aka TK.... But he comes late since Kok Hoe having constipation problem.. What the heck? So I told Tk go grab a pen and make a hole for kokhoe aka Kok Kok Bear.. Haha.. Sounds digusting tough... So few minutes later, TK lead me to the Bukit Tabuh.. So this everything begin...

Along the way, it isn't easy for 1st timer like me.. Well i complain much when we going all the way top.. Since my fatigue due restless nite I couldn't think much and keep walking, climbing and jumping..

Jean and Tk is all the way in the front.. I am in the last and still catching up.. Anyways, after that we went to Ulu yam for swimming... Haha Tk is no more a Dugong but a killer shark... He drown me and kok the most.. Following Jean and Lay Hoon.. I learn kicking from Tk .. Haha.. still cant move my arms yet..

So we went for lunch but not good as I expected for the food.. Taste so vinegar for Law Mee... Urgh.. But I don't care.. I finish up my portion and help Jean some of her food... Too hungry like my tummy need more... Soon after that we went back home... I show Lay Hoon my house and send her home also.. Wow so sleepy when driving back.. Nearly had many crash til my way home.. So then til my next time... Bye~

Everybody gets wet...

2008-09-25T00:31:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Templer's park.. So today is cool pool day..
What the heck? 12 pm.. Freezy water....

Ok the surroundings is up for you to imagine... And now

Yeah water is freezy I know that... Now The stunt show!

So this is all what we are fooling around....

Looking for cures part 1

2008-09-22T05:45:00.000-07:00

Code: Depression.....
Title: Bleeding from the inside.
Start: Where should I go next?
Places: Everywhere in Selangor or anywhere...

So today after my papers.. Which is General paper one.... Finish within an hour an sleep for an hour..
Next stop, my car.... I quickly walk to my car eventhough the bell haven't ring.. I don't care rattan hit my ass from Mr Lim the disiplinary master... I get into my car, start and dash.. ( I hate waiting in long car ques especially at peak hour.. I drove fast but not fast like not even touch 110kmh at highways and 80 at normal highways.. So I drove to KL the city which known for crappy jams.. So not cool for me to chill around instead making me headache.. SO EXCESS DENIED!!!!!!!!

Next stop.. Petaling jaya... Holly cow.. So boring... I saw my parents cleaning their store but I dint tell them that I going to drive elsewhere... So NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahhh so good.. I now at Subang and Sunway... I went round and round passing Naveen and Suman's house... And got bored.. So drove all the way to Sunway Spk... Round also but..... NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next stop.. Genting Highlands... I never thought of going there... But well hey.. It is my first time going there after all I am a fully passed driver licence... So pass the Toll? What the heck........ Rm5.00........................ AND IT IS ONE GO ONLY AND THAT MEANS GOING BACK WILL BE RM10.00 AND IS IS DOUBLED....... HOLLY COW!!!!! Well I don't care though since it is my temptation of getting a cure... So drive all the way there and it is ridiculusly time consuming journey and since I plan to get home by 5 so no choice it seems...
The sky looks dark and drizzling.. So I drove and maintain at 90kmh... And finally the reach the small turning.. Turn in and woah... Going up and up and up... Reach to the cable car... Then took a breeze... Get back into the car as the rain coming soon and drove all the way down... No need of hitting the gas and accelerate... Just brakes... Going up was taking time but going down is rather fast... And then... Continue a long stretch of road and going back to my place and head forward to Rawang..... And it is the last and LAST PIT STOP!!!!!!!

So Templer's park... No one is there and can say only a little people is there.. I changed my uniform into somesay a punk with piercings and black Shirt with jeans... So then hike up a lil and reach to a destination called the waterfall... The water pool is so deep and refreshing.. I take my sweet time resting there.. The natural beauty and all living things are such beauty to be amazed but not the monkeys or baboons there.. Why I say so? They stole my car keys and quickly climb on the tree... I was like stunned.. It reached my tight pocket... and stole my keys... But serve them rite... They fall into the pool with my keys... Wahahaha... Action time...

Anthony: Come here you belittle devils.....
~Reaching to them... Swimming but no keys at their hands...
~Which means.. The key is in the pool...
All the time I thought I walk home but I manage to get the keys with my legs soaked... Aww~ So continue soaking my legs... So I keep looking in the pool.. Holding the ring I took and keep looking and staring into it.. Then some reflection of my deary beloved is on the wavery pool.. I have so many thoughts.. Wheter I threw it or I shouldn't... But Guess what... I didn't threw it because... I love her and finally I come to my sense that I'll keep it as my precious item that belong to her... Eventhough how many times I call her stupid or I hate you but still doesn't change a fact that I still love her and always do.. I don't wish things to be ended just like that... Now we are friends doesn't mean I couldn't be back with her as long there are ways of becoming a better person.. I personally say no matter how hurtful things may end up, still it is now or never be able to understand each other.. Like someone said to me.. Be best of friends and understand each other and that time is the best pair of couple... So I will continue to pursue and wait for her eventhough how long it takes me.. So now I am convinced myself that I no longer a boy nor a man but in the middle of it... Hence this place is my favourite spot to chill and relax when there are less people on the weekdays... So this place where I can be happy and sooth myself... I wonder are there anymore great spots like this... I'll upload pics of this place where I normally go and best of all it is near my housing area.. (Not that near as you think as a walking distance).. Well then goodbye~~!

P.S this will be few of the last that I'll blog about myself... And the rest of my lives is up for all of us to dream and imagine...

Back for the moment...

2008-09-18T09:01:00.001-07:00

Anyway back to blog but not that frequently this time.. Reason....
1st I basically so stressful that my life never been that simple.
2nd @.@ I don't know what is happening anymore.. I just so confused....
3rd There is a night I could not sleep due crying on some event..
4th Then exam is putting me under stress and I am having PIMPLES!!!!!!!!! due restless night..
5th Practically I am having much fun then last year because someone have come into my life eventhough many unexpected event happens...

Devil Anthony: HEy! You there...

Lookin at my mirror....

Hey you answer me you fool... You Shouldn't revise.. Go play and act your usual way.. Hit the walls, do kick boxing as you do everyday, increase your agility boy and eat MORE!!!!!

Angellic: Who are you to pestering him ##$@!!@#%&^%^& HE should maintain his joker image and keep studying to become a respected man... His parents is already at boiling peak.. So you shouldnt listen to that idiot...

Devil: Who are you referring you load of crappy shit... take that you cheapshot.. He is build to be tough... He doesn't born with weakness but he only didn't take care when he was young.. So now it is the time for him to enhance his body strength.. So that he will be fearless when against some gangster... And most important he can defence for himself at crucial times.. His parents is only care for their image not his...

Angellic: Oh shut up.. This is the era where no more brutes and wild fire or even mass killing.. It is peace you fool... You boy, listen up.. Study study study and listen to your parents and people whom you care.. Not this silly Devilzzz... X rated sucker and useless trash..

*no longer listens to the 2 sides..

Me: Shut up both of you.. You are a part of me.. Reaper and Joker.. I don't care who takes or control me.. I don't care when I'll be gone and lifeless.. So before that could even happen.. I'll make myself who I should be.. I want to be a fully grown man.. Not silly childish pester remarks of you 2... I want to create my life where bound to no rules and death sheath... I decide my life eventhough I cheated death... I don't mind I am a liar or against any wills of mine.. As long I breathe on the land, on this earth itself, with my hands, legs and brain of mine... I am going to live...

*sudden silence...

Both: We understand you.. Since we are pasts bounded to you doesnt mean that we are pestering your life but because we don't want you be the victim of becoming a society trash.. We are you and you are us.. We will aid you when come times of trouble... As you said we have limbs to make our fate and alter to better... Til we meet in dreams again someday....

*Silence once again..
Sit and stare at the ceiling room on the bed....
I guess there is more than expectation... No matter what happens.. I'll live and live for reasons...
Since that day, I was thinking whether I am crazy or not imagining things when so bored but I realise that.. I am starting to understand myself better.. I may not be that good person or a well being but non the less.. I will learn as I move...

Stop!!!

2008-09-06T09:15:00.000-07:00

Because I couldn't, well what actually I am thinking was there are to much of mind mind thinking off right now.. I basically wanna put off my thoughts away for the moment, so I will be stop blogging for the time being.. i have to settle my exams 1st.. After that I may reconsider to blog back when everything are clear off.. I currently can't focus cause everytime I look upon my time is always making me anxious hath of exam.. I couldn't think that why and how I keep reminding myself I have to forget everything and maybe I will be gone off in everyone's sight.. So I guess it is time for me to disappear into my own world where I myself understand more than anything else.. I can't probably be so nice but I will be serious and keep my composure... Time to be strict to my own life and be very persistent to deny now.. I now want to lock myself in my own shadow and let time eat me up until the day I able to overshadow myself.. So goodbye to everything I have seen and goodbye to all my friends.. I will keep in touch with you guys whenever I settle with my life.. I will be going to strike my own dreams and keep it alive.. So long and have a nice life and enjoy while everyone can.. BYE~~~~ HAHA....

Nothing out of the blue..

2008-09-05T09:57:00.000-07:00

Fairly today, hmm, I just couldn't help by keeping myself away from playing lately.. Rather doing maths like some nutcracker jackass.. So I play computer.. And today it is so boring and my phone bills are somehow very low still.. Somehow miss that ringtone whenever my dear send to me.. I guess can't be help since she is busy with her and I got exam on my hands.. I am really so tired and easily worn out during the day.. But at night somehow triggers my expectation to be very cunning and shivering in my own rooms doing maths or playing Dota.. But mostly is doing maths.. So many equations and methods of solving each given task.. I suddenly realise there is many ways but always saught the usual answer solving method since more safer than the others.. When I keep doing maths is like keep thinking what will happen next.. After this then what? After maths, I usually go play games then yawning like crazy.. Can even yawn~ until my eyes turns red.. haha.. I still feel the time ticking slowly moving from a pace to the another.. Time flies fast? It seems it is.. In a blink of an eye is past few minutes and closing to sleep is like few hours... Then is the other day.. I can't tell how much days left for me to get my life where it suppose to be.. Not sitting the same spot for years and even hours daily.. I want to get out and get out to see new places and foods.. Argh.. So many good foods is out there and I miss some limited ones.. Haha.. Then I miss holding my basket ball and my racket.. My speed has been decrease... So so damn.. But nevermind.. I have to bear it till after my exam anyways.... Dear I miss you lots and lots.. And I ll be seeing my old primary schoolmates whom I lost contact of them...

Everyone is tired.

2008-09-03T17:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday is a very tiring day. I woke up at midnight and doing my maths up til 5am.. Shortly after that I fetch my sis to school.. Then drove all the way back home with heavy head and sleepy eyes.. I ran to my room and fall onto my bed... Time went by so fast, it already 11 by the time I woke up and see my handphone and a reminder of my dad's birthday.. haha.. So go to my tuition room, having my class up til 1.30pm.. I quickly run to take quick bath and cash in my wallet. Then drove to school to fetch my sis to tuition.. After that I go take a quick nap up until my parents back home at about 5.. So I head down with my sleepy head, asking my dad go out have dinner.. He said he was tired.. Then he went to toilet.. My mum ask me why today heading out, and I told her it was our Daddy's birthday... Then I told her how can you forget? Hahah.. She said she didn't even know about it since she got heavy workload and stressful.. I couldn't say much.. So my mum hurriedly go to take bath.. Then I and my mum go out since it is time to fetch my sis.. I send my mum to her hair saloon and I go pick my sis up.. I am worn out even only driving.. Then go back home to check on my dad.. He slept in the astro room.. What the heck? Then again I drove out with my sis at my side to my mum's place.. As I reach, my mum also down in her slumber.. Hey is everyone so sleepy? After done her sessions, drove down to my housing area to buy food back home.. After our dinner, only me and my sis watching 8tv for this program at 8.30 pm.. Soon after that my sis took her bath and lay flat on her bed.. Left is me who stay up till 1 and finally gone down to bed.. Weird eh.. So many fall asleep very quickly except me.. I wonder why though... haha couldn't go out with my dad... Still got next time though hahaha...

My primary days..

2008-09-02T13:12:00.000-07:00

Currently to many things have already begun to move.. Well I guess it is time for me to go on.. I am still haunted by my past where I can never return to the person whom I once known.. The person I fell in to her at the very moment I saw her.. Even now I can understand where is my limitation.. Even how hard I try to tell myself that she better off with someone better than me.. Eventhough I know that there are times I realise that no matter what I do is just a fading memory which meant to remember rather than I put back into pieces of my life.. Now I am with my dear.. Someone is so dear to me.. I can't see behind anymore but to move on since my past had already go on with her life and so should I as well.. This is the other past of mine, person whom I know was a friend of mine who become the traitor.. But it can't be blame since I am the person who started the ruckes 1st.. I should have let him to take over my place of being one of the gangs before.. As far as I remember he hit me with a chair on my way home.. Eventhough the bruises in not so apparent , I don't mind getting hit since I can't even lay a punch onto him.. I at that moment gave a thought that this is my last time being in the gang.. So why not let him hitting me and he takes my place.. I realise that I involve lots of rubbish in my past.. I fought with a person who is 2 times my size.. Funny thing is after one on one fight, end up as pals with equivalent strength.. Funny as it seems... Since my place was taken I haven't get into fights anymore for past 8 years... Since my parents call me to study, I care less into mixing with them anymore.. Then I even remember bits of my primary school life where I always running around in my school, get caught, smack by a teacher and cried in the toilet.. It is so funny the way I remember.. I even remember I cried on my first day of school.. I even cheated my maths by using calculator... That when I was year 1 and in the last class.. When I was in year 2, i got myself into 2nd class.. haha.. I even can finish up my maths work in the class within a minute after a long long exercise.. To be honest I suck at language but good at calculation... I even met Suman who apparently same class with me and end up as best pal.. We always talking in the class since we are always the first finish up our maths way faster than anyone could imagine.. Always the first to pass up our gruesome teacher Pn.Lin... At the end, I and Suman got separated in year 3.. He end up in the afternoon session in the first class.. Me? haha Suppose in the first class but end up in the morning session.. Same last class after all... My mother said it is the best I go in the morning session where I won't be a trouble to get picked up from school as there was school bus taking me home.. Haha, I am the only chinese boy in the school where only 2 or 3 chinese gal whom I can't even remember.. Once again meet up Suman in year 4 at 1st class... Hahaha.. He is all rounder now.. Always in the top 10.. Me? haha as I said I suck at language but that time good at science and maths only.. So typical... That year itself I got to much health problems.. I got more frequent asma attack, due to that I got sick so easily due on heavy dose of medication... When there is a blackout.. I will tend to suffocate faster no matter at day or night... My parents were to worried and take me to traditional medication.. Eventhough I couldn't heal my asma but I felt so much better than before.. Haha.. Well back to school life... Hmm I couldn't remember when I met patrick who is a pain in everyone's ass even the discipline teacher and counsilor can't even bugde him.. haha.. I still remember him that he always cheat my money up for his use to buy gameboy and so so.. Before I forgot, I meet Fitri in year 4.. But we go separate classes since then... Patrick was in 3rd, Fitri was in 2nd and well me and suman always in the 1st class.. Reason? haha we got the same tuition ever since we was in year 2 or 3 perhaps but doesn't matter since I am so damn lazy to study.. Well practically in year 5 is so damn normal and boring... I even got smack by a pain in the ass teacher by the name Mohan who taught maths in year5.. Such a torment being with the lamest teacher in my life... Then in year 6.. Wow everything change.. Suman is a prefect.. Meet new kid in our class, David Teh.. Ahh I currently want to find this fatty chump ass since got no idea where this dude when after he shifted to Damansara and even lost his contact.. Then with him around, I played badminton with him all the whole year with Suman who currently a Mssd player.. Me? I represent KL.. hahaha.. But never got into qualification since I got no stamina and strength.. But who cares anyway.. My parents don't give a damn about my sports eventhough my dad encourage me to play badminton first.. so many stupid things that we 3 do during our time.. And at recess Me, Suman, Taneselan, Fitri and of course David always foolish around and goofing at the whole school.. I almost forget, Tanaselan, Viknenthan, Ruganaraja, Partiban and Suman are the Indians I know so far.. They are the one always around.. Until Viknenthan shifted to Rawang and became a gangster.. He got very high rep there.. Haha.. Naveen also was in my school before but in year 1 only.. Then he shifted school.. All of us heading to new school which is SMK Kepong ulu.. Then there everything start to change.. Even my life change as well.. Such memories I have until now... Hahahahaha... I will continue my past in another time.. Cause my life became another person when I was in Secondary school..

The pressure is increasing

2008-09-01T19:24:00.000-07:00

Here is the question. When you are not ready, what do you feel? If I were to me, it is so damn pressuring.. Argh.. The burden of something is upon me, on my shoulders.. There is so many things that need to be done besides my studies... So damsel in distress.. My head is filling up with utter nonsense and now more thing need to be refined. And now I have to sort out each damn nonsense in my brain and go through one by one.. IF not, I will be condamne in my whole life. Why such happen when I don't even want it to happen... Sheesh but nevermind, I sure to solve it before anything worst that going to happen on me onwards.. En Garde stupid traitorious scum...

Story of something which doesn't related to anyone but myself only.

2008-08-31T08:18:00.000-07:00

Today I suddenly give a thought... Why we are exist as someone and that particular someone who trying so hard to struggle to his/her very own life... As I stumbled to see beggar begging on our money for them.. Are we to soft to pity them? Some say that we must be merciful and generous upon people who are in worst situation than us... But I come to my senses, it is not that we are generous at the 1st place or even merciful... I may not have the rights to say but we have our limbs and brain to make us striving until the end of our very breathe... Since there is a saying that "Beggars can't be choosers" If they are to begging, why don't they work out their life? We are creatures who are the most intelligent ones.. Why we even bother to become losers and winners? It seems to appeal that we couldn't have the best or perfect lives but we can walk and go forward using our hands to do things that earns us for living. So beggars shouldn't give up and keep begging just to live like leeches... They should get themselves to work rather living as useless people ( aka thrash)... There is a famous monk who once said don't believe the miracle of Gods for your own sake but use the hands that God have provide to work it out for your own prosperity... God doesn't label your fate but there is always alternation of fate where a single action of your hands and legs with our minds and thoughts can slowly develop a new road rather just to believe other preaches saying your destiny... That is what my life suppose to exist not only to feed upon myself but make sure I will walk out as a person who can lead a life eventhough isn't perfect but as trying to become a person that will be remembered amongst our family bloodline... I only can see and remember my sad past as well as walking forward to a whole new tomorrow where mysteries will appear... It seems I've think alot lately what my dad trying to tell me.. He is guiding me eventhough he is growing older day by day... I may not be his good son but I want to follow his footsteps to be a father someday... I want to pass his teaching that I've learn from him not only the respect, love and wealth but it is the bond where as a father and son which is tougher than anything else... If he could alter what the priest said to him, why wouldn't myself... I shouldn't believe others saying my life is good and can live but to make it happen to myself. As my dad had already change his fate as people said my dad is poor but somehow my dad had past beyond poor and become a wealthy man and yet earning no matter how hard he have to struggle himself in business where the income is very unstable. This is because he believe what the monk said as we use our limbs to work hard and live...
So I going to follow as he says and I am about to see and experience how far it will take me..

Yet another rainy day...

2008-08-30T07:13:00.000-07:00

Today somehow got up very late.. Like 11 am... Haha.. I was too suprise today as today I got facial appointment... I go took a quick bath and head to my bed... At first it was relaxing, all the massage and facial wash put me into relaxing mode until she starts off by pressing the pimples on my head... Wargh..... So damn painful for at least 30 minutes plus... I can feel my life being sapping away by dreadful pain... Later the mask and off with my sister turns.. She is so damn lucky since she don't have alot of pimples... Aww.. Then we change our clothes after the facial and head to Midvalley megamall... The road once again raining... So it is hard to teach my sis how to go when she drives there when she have her licence... Well she craves for the beard papa and shrudles.. unfortunately shrudles somehow close down and ended up eating ice cream... hahaha... So packed up and drove back.. So stop by at KFC and take away some nice spicy chickens... HEHEHE.. Then bought a movie on the way back too.... Once again, tuition and this time me the first again.. Argh so sleepy.. Can't even concentrate while doing maths... Well manage to do a lot.. HAHAHAHA.. Then go watch the Premonition... and Astro watching the Mummy... Now I am stuck in my room where my mum slept on my bed... Damn... I want to sleep... Nevermind though.. I play my PSP till I am tired playing.... By then it will be at late hour.. So best time for me go berserk where no one knows what I'll be doing but nothing harmful... Hehehehe.. Being up late for something as always... Vampire at the night... Why I say so? hehehe.. I am active at night more than in day... So Adios once again... signing out... Oh ya Goodnite dear and good morning to myself hahahaha....

What is now and then...

2008-08-29T10:16:00.000-07:00

Today I couldn't think what I am practically doing and act accordingly. I had many weird dreams lately... I couldm't care less than what I least expect to do.. So I had my tuition at about 10 or 11 so... I couldn't recall since there is so many images is wondering in my head... I guess I am tired lately... So I and my sis went out today to S.mall.. So much changes on the mall since there is renovation took place... The bowling alley change ass well as the food court... Unbelievable... Hahaha.. Currently I kinda want to buy the game I anticipated for... Devil may Cry 4... I bought it for Rm30 where it is pc game.. Wow it is cheap comparison to DMC 4 on PS3 which cost nearly about Rm300... Blue ray disc can put you down miserable by buying this expensive disc for juz to play a game.. Well I don't care much... I drove so calm until I reached home, install the game and start playng it... Wow... It was fantastic... yet again duty calls... I played that game for nearly 3 hours and got down to have my dinner and massage my dad's arm since his arm muscle aching.. Haha.. Dad rest more after he took his dinner as well... Then I continue to play Dmc and I replied my dear sms though.. Hehe sorry dear for such delays... I couldn't help myself into this nice game... Well I keep playing and 'sms'ing my dear... Until about 12.30am I couldn't stand watching the glaring and the resolution effect.. Hurts my eyes pretty much... So I go revision on my maths again... Since I promise my dear that I must study hard.... Haa now I feel the burning desire to go down to hell's study... Argh the sensation is keep burning me until my brain keep aching and made me think more and more... My capability is back... I now want to keep this crazy aching sensation... I never felt this good by having my headache... I guess I inherited my mum's migrain... hahaha... Nothing to be proud off.. Since I got so many genitical disorder... I couldn't help myself by making myself a little stronger day by day... I am reading, doing my exercise and some kick boxing... hehehehe... Lately rain alot so can't go out play basketball... Damn i miss the sport.. Haha Adios until to my next blog... hehehehe... So goodnite and good morning my dear... k3k3k3k3k3k3k3k3k3k3k3......

Day 9

2008-08-25T09:20:00.000-07:00

Today... let me say.. I overslept!!!!!!!! Holy cow.... I just skip school... Haa Nevermind... It happen just what I thought.. Tongue lashing by my dad.. Went back to my room and play pair cards with my sis... since can't drive out so I take my sweet time hearing songs... Later on I drove my babe car out.. Take a spin, fill up and drove back... Somehow I felt the brakes is off a little.. So basically can't speed up.. Afraid my brakes gone... Haha as normal, lots of people looking at my car.. haha so proud. But if I go overseas my babe will be sold off... Haiz.. Too bad.. My dear like it... But nevermind since if I do well I might get a Nissan 350z ( Fairlady ). Hehe... And of course I'll pay for it though after I finish up my course... I wonder how many people will be looking at it... But that car basically not my dream car though.. I want to get a BMW M5 and a Nissan Skyline GTR-35... Hehe... 2 cars is already enough for me.. When I get those cars? Hmm I think somewhere I reach adulthood.. Economically rich and stable... Hahaha looks of my dream car...

Day 7 and 8

2008-08-24T00:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I blog out in the morning so basically have nothing much to blog it up.. So compensation and today... So today, I go to Damansara The Curve for catching up a movie and breakfast which in Italianese.. Order Lasagna la viva, Meatballs and Spag, and drinks are Bay breeze flings, Kiwi margarita and orange juice.. So I, mua sis and her friend Angie ate all those till our tummy bloated.. Ouch! Then we go to catch a movie which is DON'T MESS WITH ME! haha joking... Suppose to be DON'T MESS WITH ZOHAN.... It was practically ok... Laughable? Yeah it is... Clown rating from 1 till 5 stars? Hmm 4 stars.. Damn funny if you are damn pervert or very good with english actions or verbal conduct... hahaha... Then later send Angie home and put mummy 3 in my friend, Josiah Ching (aka Jojo) mail box.. And what is the best damn thing after all again.. Answer is rain.. Lately been raining a lot... So then bye bye till my next blog... k3k3k3k3k3k3....... Dear should go watch with Law and Marg... Good practical joke...

A very balanced day 6

2008-08-22T16:10:00.001-07:00

Hmm what I was doing in the morning... As I remember someone miss called me 9 times plus... Can't remember who was it? But somehow made me woke up and go online for awhile.. While onlining I saw Bubu was there... So chat with her eventhough she kinda reply very late... Not a matter to me.. So somehow I was called by my maid for classes.. So go to class until 2 plus... Then after that I went back to my room and take a short nap up til 4.. Once again I being woken up by my 'lil sister and drive her to Klcc for her piano exam.. Kinda moody there since I am like just woke up... So I patiently waiting for my sis being examted by the boards of music... Hmm then after finish her exam.. Judging by my sister sulky face... well it is a no no situation for her.. And worst thing happen once again.. rain in KL OMG.. This time I was diverted into many many roads... I even got cheated by a stupid signboard saying Jln Kuching.. But guess where I ended up? In Cheras Ampang there.. WTH? Then I was lost in nowhere and got no idea where to go... Rain rain pouring continously and calls from my parents coming more and more.. So ended up somewhere at national library... Then once again got diverted by the police... Damn it.. That road could've taken me back home.... Instead going back to KL... How in the world is that cop trying to do.. Well anyway I don't give a damn 'bout it anymore.. So took a detour to Maju Junc and get ourself some grubs from Starbucks and Kyros Kebab... After that I got another call from JC and saying the bbq is on.. So I drove home, I took the bottle squids and drove to his cyber cafe... Ed, Sean, Ooi, Smoking, JC, Ka Chun, and some kaki Cafe was there and pranking around... That time I start to wonder, I got connection with so many people there... I know most of my friends who mostly are gangsters and vandels.. Well practically that place is really got lots of Indians and chinese... My bro from another mother.. Niketh was a well known dude in that area since he is connected in Rawang where my friend Vikk and Taneselan is there.. Ah miss the old days... Back to the topic..So all of us in the cafe planning who will go to Rawang at Jc place for bbq... So I and Ed drove all the way to rawang.. Damn it is so far... Nevermind though, we spend crazy time there and practically sms with my dear and other friends for a while before roasting time.. Hmm well lots of talking craps and bullshits.. Ended up drinking red wine... But still Ed is the damn winner of the day by eating 9 "Char-red" Chicken and me the 2nd by eating 8 "Char-red" chicken... And fish ball roast champion eater is Smoking and my sis... And heavy drinker goes to me.. A cup and a half of red wine.. So grappy taste but the moment I drank one go, I nearly got my brain shut... ( where I normally don't ). Then continue talking craps and God knows what insane rubbish talking until ended up staying one night at the place.. 1st ghost talk until no one practically want to know and I was basically half assed out there.. So ended in Jc room and my sis ended in Jc's sister room sleeping.. Who slept 1st? Smoking, then Ooi... later is Jc himself black out... Then Ed and Sean drop dead.. Lastly is me.. Who can't sleep due Jc supreme snore... OMG... Ugh.. Somehow I fallen asleep by 3 plus and got monstrus morning call from the mosque... Give me the hell yeah.. I was having a good dream and got disrupted by the quran prayers... Argh... Anyway... I got only less than 3 hours of sleep and basically drove back to Selayang sending Ooi and JC back while others got to Ed car back to Kepong... So I drove back to my own sweet home... Tying my 'lil blog now.. And my sis already running to her room and slammed herself on her bed... While me practically blogging...

Unpredicted day 5

2008-08-21T03:11:00.000-07:00

Suprisingly.. today is one hell of rainy day.. As usual, I got up and do my stuff. Then something come up in my mind.. A wonder suprise.. hehe... So I leave my home at about 9.20 am... I choose to leave early as possible since I want to prepare worst jam ever... As I expected, the way to my destination is one hell of a jam... 1 hour traffic jam nearby at KL.. I can tell you it is like 2 accident on my way to my destination... And it pile me in nowhere to go.. After one hour of massive traffic jam... I pass by to few tolls on my way... Guess what I am practically lost for about 30 minutes until I called up my Bio teacher, Mr Leong who taught me to play basketball, well he taught me how to go... hehe... Thanks alot... I am now on my turtle driving style... Slow yet steady... It was raining like cats and dogs... Worst when I reach Kajang Silk Highway... OMG... The rain is like waterfall... I can't even see and it is like a mist covering my window and I basically in midst of mist rain.. So blur blur yet I drive patiently... Who knows what will hit me when I drive fast under bad weather condition rite? Well get into the topic.. I reach my targeted location... Hehe... I parked my car somewhere at the roundabout... I went in the campus straight on... I was practically walking until I saw dear... Hehe.. I shock her until she nearly fall on the floor... hehe... Then I let her drive since I am so sleepy today... Then we go round and round since my dear not so familiar with the area... Until we reach a restaurant after giving up finding the Oldtown... Then have our grubs which is sandwich, burger and chicken lasagna.. Our drinks is rose tea and expresso^.... I kind of shock when I see the bill which cost only Rm29.10. Huh is it to cheap.. Yeah it is... Delicious? Yeah except the chicken lasagna which taste so funny for me of course. Then after that send my dear back to her campus.. Well as for me I drove back slowly again but suprisingly took me half an hour to reach home from Cyberjaya.. Very very weird... Haha.. Then I took a quick bath and start to have my class at about 6... and ends around 11 plus.. Revision on Chemistry and Biology at the same time.. My goodness.. Very tiring indeed.. Not to mention I still have to finish up my maths book... Ugh no choice but die hard.. Ahh such unpredicted day I have.. Next time I better plan my day before putting me in extreme tired...

Day 4

2008-08-20T09:40:00.000-07:00

Haa today was somehow a 'lil dull day.. Well practically I got a call from Ed saying there is badminton at 8... So basically I woke up at 8 but unfortunately I woke up to early... I sent a message to my dear and got no reply.. hmm How could I even forgot that she out of credit.. So I call her instead.. Well finally I hear her voice again after for few days not able to communicate with her since she is in singapore enjoying herself... Well for me today.. I call her for awhile in the morning and then I do some sit ups and weight lifting... A lil sweat for me to take bath before hitting to the badminton court... When I reach there, I saw Ed and the whole gang there.. So when I play my stamina runs out quickly and my mind is straying away.. Eventhough I won some games but I still lose in the end.. Then I took off 1st and drove to the restaurant to take away some food for my sis... Then got tuition up till 3.. For damn 2 hours I cracked my head to understand weird maths question... Real wonders of hell when it is hard to understand... Practically because of maths I am able to think more and more of myself since it is like mirror of my past... An equation can ever be solve when you got heart on it.. So thats what make me who I am now... The maths blood had run deep in my vain ever since I start to learn that I am able to count even before I can talk... If talk about business, I also can handle.. Reason is simple, I just learn what my mum and dad do their business..I work with them when I was about 5 plus.. I can calculate sums and multiply easily... But then when I grow up.. I learn that everything have its ways of life... Why say so? Haha.. Because what I know today is what I will do the other day... Basically when you know something is meant to be like that is will be that forever.. Like a Theory becomes a law.. So now even I have to say maths is very interesting in every way.. No matter how much you hate it, it always be there to help people.. No matter what subject you're taking, will still involve maths.. Anyway.. Since I am talking maths... True I am doing my own maths work t least more than 7 hours today... Can say my head nearly crack but nevermind though... I have been drawing graphs and calculate every possible solutions on each questions.. I realise there is more than one solution to a question but it depends on how I plan it... Well I got to go again due my maths.. haha.. yesterday is a past amd tomorrow is a mystery...

Day 3

2008-08-19T07:13:00.000-07:00

Ahh it seems like it is never ending tuition and the 3rd day my dear is off somewhere and yet to return.. Today what I am doing eh. Hmm I woke up at 8 due my handset alarm.. Well do my maths since must finish the book before holiday and that is my aim... Around 10 plus I play a game to relax and well since my mind straying and cracking on my maths... Then around 12 I went to cyber cafe to see JC and play rainbow six.. Quite laughter surround me today.. As Jc me and someone whose name I forgot.. Well play rainbow 6 where Jc and him suppose to coorperate but ending up killing me and suicide at each other.. Then I killed a civilian by accident as well as Jc also killed a hostage.. Our mistake getting our mission failed haha... 2 times if I am rite... Then at 2.30 I left there and drive my Fto back home and change car keys and drove out my honda to fetch my sister back from her appointment with her dentist on her teeth bracer.. It was a nice drive since the steering and the brakes functioning very well and I drove not even exceeding 80kmh.. But the journey was too silent since my sis not talking like she is having problems since yesterday... Anyhow as I reach home I got half an hour to rest while chat with Josiah and Chong awhile and go to my class at 4 up till 6.. tiring of course.. Then have a game with Chong, Ivan, and Ah Chai... And it is Dota.. Somehow I really suck playing 'em... Haa what to do I possibly don't have any ability to play pc and console games... At sport I am not a good player especially sports that uses endurance and stamina... haha... As I know myself, I am lazy to do my studies, lazy to go sports but fantastic at spending money.. Somehow I need to control my spending though.. But good thing I now save more than I spend.. Which is an achievement... At least this money could save me from pinch someday... Oh ya, today I learn back my chemistry on some chapters that I really suck at but except organic chemistry where I able to answer them thoroughly... Eventhough my class duration is short but I adapt on the chapter easily... HEHE... I left few more weeks to my submission and my real mission... Well anyways I have to leave it as it is and got to go study... Must sustain my real deal... Anyway dear I saw purple shirt which is so cool but got no cash to buy unfortunately... I'll try to get it somehow, wear and show to dear.. k3k3k3k3...

Day 2

2008-08-18T08:20:00.000-07:00

Yet another same old day same routine but something always happen by accident... Talking about accident.. yeah it is a close call I nearly had my accident on the road.. How it started? Yeah as usual the same thing that we do after waking up in the morning.. wash yourself up and get ready.. For me it is time to fetch my sis to Pavillion KL.. Hmm Well on my way to the 1st passenger Alicia... I go fill my my car and straight to her house... And then disaster struck in... Angelia the 2nd passenger is somewhere in Central market making her lost IC.. It is so damn boring waiting so I go to have some grubs... At the same mamak stall... somewhere near to Angelia home.. If I remember correctly it is the Ali Maju restaurant. Then the good news is Angelia back home.. So pay the bill and drive to her house straight, fetch her and go... Well as normal I always drive and they talk.. Well in the midst of driving, my mind have wondered somewhere.. So end up I speeding under the rain... Guess what happen... Too fast too furious had cause me to yank the brake pedal... My car skidded.. And it is still moving forward and nearly want to crash in front of me... I can't really think much.. So I desperately pulled my handbreak as immediate action.. Lay my steering straight.. And my car finally stop.. Just right in front of another car that I almost crash to.. All the smokes and breaks start to vanish into the thin air... But the smell is UNBEARABLE... Well almost all of them are afraid.. ( maybe they think it is the last time sitting in my car) My sis lashing her tongue to me of course... I can't practically be sad and terrified there... But I learn something from today.. But anyways I manage to send my sis and her friends to Pav safely.. And I called up my parents and my teacher about my condition... Ok here is the reason that I skidded.. 1st of all important aspects of speeding... Check your damn tires or the condemn you.. And 2nd get your brakes check as they are important and lastly Why would my Goddamn brain wonder off eh? Focus when driving... Then drive cautiously under the rain.. Road conditions is the worst when comes to rain and of course Malaysian roads are sucks big time because they didn't tarred the road evenly... And now I learn to drive slow this time.. And have to plan my journey very well so that I will not suffer the consequences... Well as to my parents complains.. Well hell yeah... I once told my dad before that I skidded at my place round a bout.. I told him that my mum's car aka honda acc that the grip of the fore wheels gone and the back ones are hardened... Well practically he ignored and saying I drive too fast... Aww dad, you had made me scared the shit out of me... So my dad practically go with me to the Brigdestone tyre shop... So change of rims and tyre.. Model hmm Turanza Ar10 .. A good model that I can tell you... Rims? haha normal sport rims.. 15 inch.. Basically I didn't want 16 inches and above due because this car is no longer in use and meant to be sold off... So why bother putting 17 inch rims where the rims easily dent due our lousy roads... Haha.. well thats all for today... My dear I am so sorry that I forgotten dear's dos and don'ts... I learned it today... Thank God that no one hurts as well as the money too.. k3k3k3k3...

1st day..

2008-08-17T07:55:00.000-07:00

Well somehow today is very boring as usual.. Tuition in the morning as normal... Then before that I was on call with my dear... But not that long... Then when she message me that she had reach Singapore... Well it is really nice for her to travel though... At least she can spend more time with her family and for her to relax as many sad things happen to her... Day 1... I wonder what she is doing now? Well too curious to know what event she will have there... haha.. Hope nothing ill happen.. Then as for me... Well I should get more rest as I still have my cough on... Tomorrow I will be fetching my munkey sister of mine with her long long classmate as well as close friends of her... Haaa life like a driver... I couldn't even save a penny as the oil hike recently.. I guess not much of choice that I have to ask from my parents... So far money for me is stuff that fills my tummy and going to local gym... My daily pocket cash can't even sustain a day... How crazy! Well I think i have to work after my exam... Hope can get hard labour work like at construction or carrying heavy stuff.. Maybe this way I can learn the value of money. All I hear now is my days are so soon and like not even a 77 days left for my real exam and 136 days left for me to get lost and going to somewhere I want to go.. A place that everything is so important to me... A place where my dreams, tears and sweat will come into reality... That time my wheel of destiny will begin.. Haha... I stray to far already.. Now it is my time to make my dream into a reality... 77 days.. I now have to recuperate at the moment and study accordingly.. Then when I am fully heal, I will go all out... Everyday will be hell in the making... My most anticipated strength is on maths and my organic, inorganic chemistry.. Need put some focus on my biology too.. I will make my own way as a science student to reach the peak where non of my family history ever achieve and the next line will be my sister... For me it is now or never... Well I spent too much time on my blog as already an hour past... So sad I can say this short... Haha my dear... stay cheerful...

Have a bad cough.. or day perhaps..

2008-08-15T01:02:00.000-07:00

Today morning at 1 something to begin with... I realise something is wrong with myself.. I suddenly cough non stop for an hour... I rushed to the toilet many many times.. And All of sudden my hand fill with my blood.. I was terrified... I din't expect myself that I'll cough blood once again... It is been while I cough out blood ever since I was a child when i had my asma back then.. I couldn't stand at all after I cough out blood in my own toilet... Then I chill down myself and stay calm... Then crawl all the way back to my own bed... Without air-cond I felt the chills in every part of my body... I start to sweat and shivering... So scared until I went to sleep.... Then this morning I barely walk at the hallway to the astro room where my sis resting... I ask her who should I sent her stuff to and have to meet my friend Pei Sha ( my another 'lil sis) at 7am, so I drove to school and meet her up and gave her the stuff from my sis.. Then I drove back home as fast as I could... I afraid that I may have a sudden Black out! So when I reach home I went straight to bed... At 10 I go take my bath and go pick my sis at bus stop.. Then both of us head to clinic at about 11.. I told the doctor that I had bad cough only cause I was afraid to tell out.. Then michelle called me saying she don't have credit to sms.. I didn't mine much.. So after that I went to cinema watch movie with my sis and her best friend Ajay... Wall E is the movie.. But in the midst of the show, I was called by an unknown number saying my friend owing money Rm4500.. I was shocked until I nearly get my blood boiled... Then post and replying the message and suddenly stop.. So fortunately the movie ended.. I went straight to the toilet and I cough out blood again at the toilet bowl... I was too angry.... Then I went out wash my hand and my mouth.. take the escalator down and call the number up... It was Michelle who picked up and saying it was a prank... How infuriating and frustrating until I get to deserve this... I first very angry 'bout it and suddenly calm after I replied back.. I felt like I am tested for this... How could they test me when I am such condition... I now felt regret replying such message back then.. And now I am very sad for such thing to happen today...

life..

2008-08-12T04:19:00.000-07:00

After many incidents happen, I wonder and start to think about what I am trying to achieve in my life? At 1st I give myself a thought whether my way of doing things is to my own benefit... So selfish.. I understand that.. Sometimes I begin to wonder What will happen to my life where I got a severe sickness or pain that can't be healed.. Dying is the matter of self estimate... Will I regret or feeling content of my life... Can I make things as they are now? I think maybe that time flashbacks is nothing anymore because what is the point that you regret when you are about to die... Furthermore there is no end to suffering which i held for so long... My parent's dream, my relatives dream, and my own dream.. To think that I manage until now is because i got educated to an extent where i still can cope up with what I have now... I was once stupid but never once clever.. i am not even a genius either. So what is my life actually? Is there a meaning of my existance or I am in a many people out there... What make me different than the outside people? Sometime life is so unfair for me to justify and to testify its significance.. Haa I wish I could have more time to think what is my life about...

Everyday my intention....

2008-07-26T08:53:00.000-07:00

Everyday my mind is set to new ends... Somehow my intention is growing wilder and more like wants to kill something.. Something that doesn't exist until I face it.. My weapons are sharpen everyday to wield on the battlefield and my mind is thinking of every possibilities on how to win war... The toughest war yet to come and yet so near... Thrills are buzzing in my nerves and somehow there's fear too.. I have to depend on everything I got including luck which normally put me out ( but no choice to depend from now on)... Now I got my gf by my side.. Feeling very good and pleasant... kekeke... And the best thing of all My path is set to reach a higher peak and to reach there many wars I've been through is crazy but nothing is more clearer from now onwards.. I shall strive for the thing I should achieve and that will be my modest point to be someone who will set the history amongst my family... Now the question lies where can I win this upcoming war... By the way the war I mention about is my exams... hahahaha...

My Life..

2008-07-03T00:28:00.000-07:00

My girlfriend is Michelle Yap... She is very very wild girl but she is very soft hearted. Like the zodiac sign Cancer, a crab.. which is hard shelled but very soft inside. She currently studying in Limkokwing university. Keke to be honest I got really no idea what is wrong with me... I failed my test and basically no idea what I want to do.. To some extent I really no idea what I really want in my life.. Fame? Wealth? Or even hero? Somehow it is really hard to tell what is my predicted future.. Sometimes it is really depressing when I study very hard but not good enough to score me a result that I want. And the person who is unexpected to be underdog becomes someone greater than me... Kinda lame though.. So what my life compare to the person who is so normal rather than special..
Then I once thought no matter how special a person is, if the person don't work hard then he is useless and if he is then he got his predicted life. So now I got a nice girlfriend whom had the worst nightmare of the past sharing her experiences as well I am.. I got a good background even though my parents work half dead.. I got a nice sis whom is cruel inside.. Well life is boring if there is no thrills or obstacles.. Every step I take must have some step to tackle the obstacles and every move I made must be some destruction.. So I believe every pain has meaning in there.. I want to go further where my abilities can put me through every pain.. Michelle Yap, I maybe not the one who can be pull trigger happy but I will try to stand by your side as long you are my dearest one... Kekeke.. I am sorry if I couldn't do anything for you... And I am sorry to my parents while I am some bad egg still for the moment.. But I want to try my very best that I could with my small palm.. And I am sorry to all the people who I hurt them before.. I am sorry for the trouble I caused to my sis.. But I didn't beg for any forgiveness from all of you since I don't deserve it.. But I will step away to achieve my goals... As my saying is there is nothing to gain and nothing to lose as long you walk in the path where all solution of life which gives most experiences of joy, pain, sick, anger, sad, and lastly curiousness.. kekeke....

Hey hey who is this...

2008-06-21T00:09:00.000-07:00

Well well I recently met a girl who sounds cute... haha.. don't blame me writing this.. she is kinda fine... but unexpected 'lil girl.. too many secret need to unravel... So I met her in facebook and she sets a day to go to some place but end up I was invited to Pav kl.. It was a rainy day.. she was freezing cold..(I maybe I should buy a sweater for her)... Not much of talking I think... well it marvelous to know her... haha...the pic of her...

Rainy days...

2008-05-29T07:46:00.000-07:00

Rain rain... continuously... including thunder and lightning packages... Normally I like sleeping in this weather condition.. But unfortunately, whenever thunder drumming above the clouds of grey, that will be time my car starts alarming.. I like have to walk all the way to my car and turn off the alarm and walk all the way back to my room to continue sleeping. But thunder never come once or twice as you all know. So practically I have to get up and down to my car and the funny part of it, it always happen when I am free to rest, and didn't happen when i was busy..And the best part of it when I am sleeping... Anyways I drove my Fto out today, under the rain pour, even the road isn't visible to drive. Guess what I speed off like 140kmh on the slippery road..(Driver please try to do so and make sure wear safety belt) Hmm I turn on my sound system and full blast until my car rocking even greater than thunder. With amplifier of Gods, the db of my sound system is to great until my eardrum nearly went soft even my car honk is like a deaf tone... Anyways it is really a pleasant ride under the rain or road with less cars.. It is relaxing rather hearing parents nagging all day long, grumble on their work life which is lame though and not to mention my enemies of my family who trying to backstab me lately.. Not towards my parents.. so stressful condition I am in now and I had even once gave a though rain can wash away people sadness and gives soothing emotion but never if thunder putting all the havoc around.. I wish for rain but not thunder eventhough science prove that thunder comes together with rain normally...

Holla holla Holiday!!!!! yeah cool..

2008-05-24T09:21:00.000-07:00

Holiday for 2 weeks starting from today.. Hurrah who dont like holidays? For starters, they work part time, some goes to places they want like for instance Spain, some study, some taking short term course and of course playing yet having fun will be in their routine.. How nice if this goes on.. Unfortunately there will be some idiot saying holiday bored and school is better.. What stupidity answer is that.. Nothing is better than holiday and nothing is interesting in school.. All I can say not interesting will happen if you stay in the same spot... By any means you got to travel, learn the ways of life...
So for me.. what is my planning? Easy! I got no plans.. Why? Simple! This is because I got my time fully booked with tuition.. I do sit ups in the morning and then tuition at afternoons till late night.. Tiring? Yes it does.. It wears me down everytime when I trying to understand notes and teachings from tuition teachers. This is the life when parents knows that what is your ambition when you was a kid and they try to put in suitable condition like tuitioning.. Hell does come down to my life when all this tuition started.. Guess what I started tuition since I was 5 years old.. Kinda stupid since I know most of what adults thinks when I was 4.. And I wasn't able to talk until I was around at 9 years old where I meet Suman( my best friend) and I started to get talkative by then.. Back to life, I know nothing is good when people having their best time out there and i will be at home doing tuition... Lame. It is hard to keep parents expectation under their nose.. But I know it is fine with me. There is nothing better then sweet glory as fate is in your hand. Whether to be destroyed or sustaining it.. So what is this related to holidays.. Simple! For people who are able to plan ahead himself and never let the thought go even for a split second, so he will entrusted by Gods with great determination and living life as one with joy, knowlegde, and most important is the ability to fill himself with thrills of life.. So do the things that you really need to do before you miss the thrills.. Don't waste if you got the chance...

Love birds.. full story..

2008-05-17T05:47:00.000-07:00

Continued from part 1....
to my surprise.. That 2 person who is behind the scenes was Mr Sua and Miss Lee. All I remember was the flower was sent to Ki W.L. and all of sudden Mr Edwin was pissed and isn't satisfied with the sender(by rite it was Sua who planned behind them both) so at least but not much Edwin sang the happy birthday song and so so.. Guess what made him to walk to the toilet with sour face.. Basically 80% was me.. I said one sentence

"Why are you standing there like a stump, shouldn't you suppose to congratulate Miss May(aka Ki W.L.),"

Oh man, you should know that it was the beginning of disaster.. He walk straight out of the class.. with sour face and despair. I never knew he could even sad for that. Such a crybaby. Cant blame him though, What makes him so perfect at the first place.. can say no one is perfect.. Admit it Ed.. You felt jealous that day.. Don't keep it. We all already know what is going on.. And then we know it is time to call him back to class.. Pity him who couldn't hold himself crying one side, thinking that the world has come to end for him.. Miss May went down going towards the boys toilet and pull his leg up and saying that flower is a fake.. It was bought from Sua.. When he heard that, the face of delight, joy, happiness, and his heart full of hope all blend into him.. Come on it that is Ed .. If you are a man you should tell to her that you love her even the flower given to her.. Why keep it ? She will never know your feelings until you tell here directly. If she rejects, it is ok man, rejection is part of life as wanting a partner ship... But you will suffer if you keep it to yourself.. Don't talk bullshit that you want lasting relationship and keep saying me not even last for a year or months, it is never been years, months, weeks or even days, love is not measured like that, the answer is faith, trust, able to share the toughest moment together and then you will say out loud that our love shall not tear us apart till death.. Eternal love... to achieve it ain't easy because no marriage can bring upon happiness since there is a saying that every person bites his/her tongue... And if you guys want to know what happen to them.. They have yet to pair up and still working up as friends..

Sometimes you ask who am I ?

2008-05-01T08:56:00.000-07:00

Today I was thinking.. Why is it hard to live? Do you know when exactly you will die? Do you know when the time you should be happy or sad? And this comes into mind.. What we live for the sake of what purposes ? Which goal and destiny shall await incoming future? To many questions comes into mind when you start to crawl, walk and then run.. Sometimes it is hard to bear the fact that whenever you go, shit happens... Ain't that is true... When all darkness falls, nightmare begins.. where someone fails to plan, plans of future destruction is awaiting for us.. Once again, as today I was thinking whether something fun will happen later at school where all laughter happens in matter of teasing my own pal, will go on to me.. I wonder when something ugly comes in, thats it, things going to be pretty ugly.. Stpm is rather too soon.. I ll soon turn to the other side of me... At that time I ain't sure whether able to regain my former self.. It is like grasping my living nightmare... Maybe next time I'll be forgotten since I ain't the primadonna but at least I have play my role being a heartless human... All I can say that I am sorry that this is me myself... As the question above.. The answer that I'll say Live for yourself and do by yourself as long you feel content and happy... There will be no regrets as long you live from the face of life... Well then thats all... Hope to live as one mind one body...

Love birds part 1..

2008-04-21T05:14:00.000-07:00

Hey today my class celebrating 2 persons birthday.. Lee Bee Yen and May... funny it may seems that it is very hard to describe in a day.. so to make it short... Teng keen had a crush.. whom she is I wonder..
so sad and funny at the same time.. well to be continued at part 2.. so I leave at the moment due to lack of alibi.....

2008-03-29T07:36:00.000-07:00

well I woke up at 5.. take bath send my sis to someone house.. at kepong then drive straight to sunway and reach about 7.. waiting for naveen.. when he reach he guide me to his new home.. sad sad forget so take picture at his new home at kota kemuning... then went to have breakfast.. then go to segi college to fetch suman .. haha.. long time no see bro from another mother... then go back to naveen home play ps2 for awhile... then go watch movie shutter... after that go to the snooker at sunway. on the way fetch mimi along... haha now this is us playing snooker in sunway indoor footsal club...

Yeah today i remember where is PICO..

2008-03-27T02:21:00.000-07:00

So after school today.. I drove my car to the nearest petrol station, fill up.. and back to school.. As I wait for Simone I bought to pack of 'Rojak'.. then when my sis come out, I drove all the way to Kepong sent her for tuition.. And then back to search where is PICO? so i drove to sri damansara.. at 1st near ssd6-10.. kinda weird at 1st since ! cant find where pico is... then stop at petrol station.. I ask where is Alliance bank.. they reply it is near at factory side.. Then suddenly I have a flashback.. So I quickly drove to there.. guess what I found the bank then I saw Proton company followed by Pico after a series of company along.. Then I remember.. that is the place where my bumper got hit by trailer when he try to reverse.. Nevermind though.. At least I know where is PICO... I guess I hit the jackpot.. haha

2008-03-17T03:52:00.000-07:00

Oh it's been awhile I didn't update my blog.. Kinda busy and boring staying at home and many things had happen past week. 1st was my father admittance to hospital for hernia operation( for you guys who doesn't know what is hernia, it is the muscle between your leg cleft muscle which supports the position of intestine from falling down) and mostly happen for person at the middle age. Well I always there for my father since he is my coolest dad( for me only), he guided me throughout my life to my dreams ( nearly within my grasp ) as well taught me the way of business. Hmm eventhough this is a normal and simple operation but I always treat like major.. haha.. but when there are bonds of family there are always trouble brought in.. My sis was the one.. Well the root of the problem was the Leo club selection of the MC of HGH hall in Sentul..( well I don't blame them for doing their job) but aren't there suitable people for this great event..Before this event guess what.. My mum took her precious time for sleep and rest to buy my sis clothes at 1 Utama.. I was there witnessing the total amount of clothes and price my mum pays.. Guess what?The whole clothes she bought sums up nearly Rm 3000.. wow.. And all this is for the event.. haha.. laughable.. Then here the problem begins.. My dad enter to Assunta hospital and my sis went for rehersal.. The operation begin at 9am but I am unable to reach simply because my sis wasn't at home.. I was kinda frustrating waiting for my sis to finish up her things and waited her at Times Square since the train stops nearby there.. Thats not the case.. On the IR day, the so called function starts at the evening and ended around, well I am not sure with the time since she said finish at 9.30 pm. Ok I went to Sentul HGH hall.. calling my sis nearly 10 times and above.. Fine I went in the hall and I saw a familiar face.. (simone's friend) and guess what she said? Simone went to the train station.. Oo my m***** f***ing crap, I rushed down the stairs and a call come by, my sis gave a call and say fetch her at Kepong Ktm.. I drove there like crazy.. Blasting my engine to almost at 14o or 160 kmj.. I reached there around 7 minutes.. Then another call come by, now she said fetch her at Sogo in KL. That was such a piss off since she said there wasn't a train back to kepong simply because finish ticket.. As I drove there, at about 5 minutes something she call again and ask
"Gor, where are you?" Fuh I shouted at her cant you wait.. Haa.. Why would I have a stupid sis who doesnt uses her brain and just simply wait for my arrival at Sentul.. save my time and I dont need to cancel my tuition class because of her.. practically idiot.. All I know of my sis, she just think her friend's sake and never bear the her safety.. I wonder who taught her to be that... Well after that, hmm frustration of biology stuff and Vikk yet Tk having their beautiful time catching grass hopper for experiment.. plain stupidity.. Thats for now , signing out yo, peace~

2 movies in a row..

2008-03-07T08:06:00.000-08:00

well after the math exam yesterday.. well failed my chem(expected since i drop my tuition in cekap) than after school pick my sis go to ruban class at 2.. then go to winmax at jiann chyi's area.. play games tiberian wars.. at about 4 my mum called.. so i took off from winmax then head home pick my mum to saloon at selayang jaya.. as she want to cut her hair short and wash.. hmm later at about 7.30 i send my mum back home and rush to winmax to pick jc.. drove fast to cineplex the curve damansara.. luckily no heavy traffic.. and luckily i called edwin to buy ticket earlier.. watch Jumper..( God know what is that story about somehow is incomplete) then since we really want to enjoy.. oh forget to mention we ate at TGI Fridays..( all I can say workers there such a wack) then we head to 1 utama to watch playboy cops.. funny at 1st sad at last.. well at least better than jumper.. no clue or even real ending.. well i reach home at about 1.30 am today morning..( get blasted by parents ) nevermind anyways.. I can say I enjoyed..peace~

Today I am at Tarc

2008-03-05T00:52:00.000-08:00

at 6.30 I sent my sis to school, then pick Ivan at 7. Reach at Tarc, unexpectedly no guards asking my pass..(what pass?) haha just slipped in.. then I and Ivan go to basketball court, playing of course.. then smack him to 21-10.. I just to good or maybe he fall far.. nevermind that, then chin, ah ho, ah pro, chong and ivan play one bunch of pros.... eventhough we didnt win but we manage to close the ties.. about 2 or 5 points diff.. ah ho blast to many 3 points out of 10 throws and all 9 in.. Godlike.. I hmm mostly stay under basket and score.. Mvp haha.. then I rule under basket.. damn I am to good underbasket maybe I should learn to shoot 3 points.. haha.. then at about 11. All of us go to Amazon playing dota.. lose..ish .. then I drove all the way to Sunway Lagoon to look body kit for my car.. Wow so many... My Fto going to be beautiful since I know where is the shop.. haha

2008-02-26T08:10:00.000-08:00

Hey this is one of my father's customer wedding.. Recently..
My dad, sis, and myself.. Groom and bride and family